М. Цветаева - Проста моя осанка - In English

My attitude and posture
Are straight, possessions scant.
I'm native to the coast of
The Seldom-Traveled Land!

No guests – no time to suffer!
He's in – I toss and turn.
To serve a stranger supper,
I'd have my dwelling burn.

Eyes met – we are acquainted,
Hands met – feel free to dwell. 
These rules were plainly stated
In my ancestors’ cells.

At will – we'll lure from heaven
The Moon into our paws!
When gone – like never happened,
And I – like never was,

And wonder, licking: what if
The wounds don't heal before
The first to whisper: “Water!”
Knocks on my open door?


Проста моя осанка,
Нищ мой домашний кров.
Ведь я островитянка
С далёких островов!

Живу — никто не нужен!
Взошёл — ночей не сплю.
Согреть чужому ужин —
Жильё своё спалю.

Взглянул — так и знакомый,
Взошёл — так и живи.
Просты наши законы:
Написаны в крови.

Луну заманим с неба
В ладонь — коли мила!
Ну а ушёл — как не был,
И я — как не была.

Гляжу на след ножовый:
Успеет ли зажить
До первого чужого,
Который скажет: пить.

Август 1920


Рецензии
Very good! Just a couple of things:

I would change "stated" for "planted".

Not exactly clear what "cells" you're talking about. "Blood cells" isn't immediate from that.

I would think about making it more clear that she's talking about a "he" - not just a generic "guest." All her verbs are masculine. Although it may be the woman in me talking :)

I'm not sure about "water." I would try to put in a more generic "thirsty" in there, because it may well be her blood he wants to drink.

Overall, makes an impression close in its chill to the original. Awesome choice, too!

Евгения Саркисьянц   08.08.2012 19:52     Заявить о нарушении
Thanks!
"Planted" does dot rhyme with "acquainted."
But "cells" I did not necessarily mean "blood cells" (but not jail
ones :-)
"Drink" in Tsvetaeva's original stands, I think, for any need of help
(not of blood, of course: It is Marina who constantly falls in love for everyone in need, not the other way around).
But you are right - in the process of editing, the gender has completely disappeared from my translation, so I'll put it back (in one of 3 possible places).

Thanks again,

Alexander


Александр Гивенталь   08.08.2012 20:56   Заявить о нарушении