x-race

an idol to stare at was all that I had
original sin of despair built hell in my head
with useless remind of origins of guilt
freedom illusion with walks in the yard
drug of divinity torture of art
how long I hoped that at least I believed
eternity terror job to be afraid
so beautiful labor and so poorly paid
the end is inside me the bomb filled with tears
but crowd will hide me like cloud and nobody hears

the thunder is swallowed by beast with no name
by morning it will be replaced by the rain
I throw you in face convulsive x-rays of what we became
say there's no exit pretend to be wise it seems love like death and can never be twice
but longing for feeling is longing for life
and tears blur reflection of eyes in the knife

sunglasses seem to give you better look
I try to love my vision mask
is it some monstrous unconscious crook
I desperately want but lose the impulse
to do my best with no fire in the chest
and why is the most silly question to ask
impossible mission but only for me
the dream of submission - what means to be free
no contract, no rules, no eternity vow
but staying feels wrong and without way to go
this anchor is tumor that can't stop to grow

the thunder is swallowed by beast with no name
just wait for tomorrow restart of the game
the veins of highways get lost in the race, false joy falls from grace
say there's no exit but there is no end, we sign final sentence with fuel we spend
speed crosses the limit, heartbeat starts to fade
tire track bloody trace of lipstick on the blade