Crucifixion is a flight - из архива

In deepest desert sands
I looked for life without sales
And now in my hands
Are blooming rusty iron nails
It is like following Christ
Lost in tearful mist
But with my own human mistakes
Misunderstood and despised
How to get to know what it takes
To feel that you exist?
I am so tired of revenge
For being different and strange
I didn't want to pick a fight
And so I am crucified

That's not a crucifixion that's a flight
A chance to rise above the ground
Being bound
To the cross
The substance much too slight
From every wound
The bloody wings start to grow
The death is painful and slow
But peace is already found

The cross is just a wooden plane
Or maybe giant kite
It seems I feel no longer pain
With only wind by my side
In hellish desert glow
The stormy winds blow
Far from North
To be crucified
From inside
Now I know
What it is worth


Too proud to pray
Too serious to play
Too young to decay
And too old to change my fate
With thirst for perfection unable to sate

Truth may.be clearly seen
Only through the tear screen
But it suddenly dissapears
Blood of rainbow that all call tears

Side effects of fame

Ideal never is complete
My death won't show how hard I bleed
My tears won't show my inner cries
Nothing is to change
Nothing to choose when choice is made
Who knows how much is secret price
I never paid

My life is endless suicide
Eternal holding back and failure
High horse I try in vain to ride
Is one with title of my jailor


I am already tree
New leaves of hopes and joys
Fall down every year
Sometimes I bloom in vain
And have fruits
The worms of doubts and fears eat my roots
So it would only set me free