А. К. Толстой Бунт в Ватикане на английскомb

The castratoes raised the mutin:
Entered Papa's privet chambers:
“Why are we not married, Father,
How’re we to blame for?”

Papa says to them so strictly:
“Is here realy synagogue?
Whether you afraid of God  our ?
Get away from the threshold!»

Those to him: "You are all right, Sir!
You live in a pleasant coolness.
But we are very disappointed
We are too envious, Sir.

You live absolutely freely,
Maybe, you chafed there  calluses,
Why is that not same thing ever
In our bitter fortune?“

Papa tells them: “Faithful Children!
You ought be always foreseeing:
Losing these  necessary pieces,
You have to be patient!

I get pity for your lostness
And, perhaps, in restitution
I will order from the best wool
Insert to you patches!”
 
Those to him: “What’s need the wool for?
It's good only for a bathrobe!
Not petaled soft but hard steadfastly
Object, which we need so!»

Papa : “I will give a place in Eden,
Beauty bride for every injured,
Two pounds of dough per month extra
Judge: the weight is something!

Those to him: “What are in the dough,
Whether it be  two hundred pounds,
You can't make the such implement
For your bride be happy!”
 
“Oh, bad stuck has been arriving, -
Papa cryed  from the pedestal  so, -
If a thing fell from the cart one fine day,
So write down: gone!

This good thing, - added them Papa
Get lost even from Priapus,
There is no such Aesculapius,
That is not a straw hat!

And what are you really wanting?
Would you live in my own chapel,
With the padre Antonelli,
Singing yours cantatas!

“No, - was all castratoes   answer, -
Pius, the bad sort of ninth you,
We already hoarse completely
Singing these cantatas!

Would not you shaw  yours Miracle,
Singing "Casta diva" to us?
Only not rude, but high squeaky,
Subtly especially!”

Papa got so scared: “Oh, Children,
Why should I sing now thinly?
And how can I grasp by now
Silly  these suggestions?”

Those to him: “The science is simple -
And in this we guarantee you:
Cut just  once, and the whole thing is here -
Here the razor! Come on!”

Papa  thinks: "It would be like, as
It wouldn't even be in fashion:
To be swank  as the middle gender».
Sent for De Merode.

De Merode in the mean time
Prepared fight the neighbour king to,
Trained under the picturesque mountain
Papal brave infantry:
 
 Foot-soldiers in the silk cassocks there,
Their knapsacks are made of pig skins
And filled with fir cones so fully,
Them in purple stockings.

Venerati runs up promptly
“You’d, - he shouts, - not care regiment!
There castratoes want, quite inopportunely,
Emasculate Papa!”

Tempered in military formation,
De Merode doubled over,
Seeing it's so bad occasion,
Says: "What is it, comrade?”

Venerati repeats promptly:
“You’d, - he shouts, - not care regiment!
There castratoes want, quite inopportunely,
Emasculate Papa!”

The trumpets immediately blew there,
A fierce heat flared up in the army,
So everyone looks, to whom would
Give a hard butt in the teeth.

De Merode, in a tricorn,
In the cassock just from tailor
Them all led in his one-wheeler
To the room  of Papa.

Only soldiers came into there,
The castratoes  got scared every.
They say: “We are to blame now,
Will sing you pay-less”!
 
Sacred  Papa on the freedom,
And he cares about the people,
To castratoes De Merode
Says something like follow:

"Wait, you creepy frigging villains!
I will hang every for penis.”
Papa said there,blushing slightly:
"You must all bee smarter!"

(Ladies option:
 “Everyone who was involved in rebellion,
Would deserve to be height hanged!"
Papa said, completely consoled:
"I alone am sinless!")

And the end came to all disputes;
At the court former ambiance.
And the castratoes squeal in chorus
Ad finem seculorum!