Like a bird I was flying to you
With keeping my feelings together
And hope you're waiting for me
To be very happy. But weather
All suddenly changes. No more winds
Which help me continue flying -
Has came so big storm that it makes
All things turn around denying.
Felt down my feelings, get breaks
My wings, my emotions and mind.
Big sadness lays down inside
To stay for long time, for long time...
Broken Wings
© Copyright: Лилия Белая, 2018
Свидетельство о публикации №118121000907
Свидетельство о публикации №118121000907
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Hi there! Sorry to disturb You. I used to read poems in English and i have noticed the following: 1)"Like bird" (may be "a bird"; 2)there are no nouns "waives"; 3)"It's came" ("has come" the third form of the verb?); 4) "get makes" ( "gets making"); 5) "get brakes" ("get breaks"); 6)"Big sadness lay down" ("lays down"). Please, don't complain. Good luck in your Poetry Journey!!!
Андрей Боровков 10.12.2018 07:52 • Заявить о нарушении
Андрей Боровков 10.12.2018 07:52 • Заявить о нарушении
Hello Andrew, I am very much appreciate your comments! I must work on it. Thank you!
Regards,
Lily
Лилия Белая 10.12.2018 08:01 Заявить о нарушении
Regards,
Lily
Лилия Белая 10.12.2018 08:01 Заявить о нарушении