Рецензии на произведение «haunted memories»
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Рецензия на «haunted memories» (Юрий Лазирко)
"...my memory is my remedy..."
Precisely so...because no one can ever take away the memories that were created. We carry them in our hearts for the rest of our lives and re-tell them to our children.
Urochka, your mother lives in you (in your heart), she continues in your children, her soul is immortal...
My deepest sympathy for your loss. Something tells me, she is watching over you and smiling... )
Симона Пекер 29.08.2012 19:19 • Заявить о нарушении
"...my memory is my remedy..."
Precisely so...because no one can ever take away the memories that were created. We carry them in our hearts for the rest of our lives and re-tell them to our children.
Urochka, your mother lives in you (in your heart), she continues in your children, her soul is immortal...
My deepest sympathy for your loss. Something tells me, she is watching over you and smiling... )
Симона Пекер 29.08.2012 19:19 • Заявить о нарушении
Simonochka,
Thank you so much for your understanding and optimistically bright wordage.
It is only a matter of time before whatever lives in our hearts will be reunited with whoever watches over us from the Heaven.
Your heart is truthful and sincere – I wish for you: peacefulness, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to chase out the rains, and a lot of sunups to keep your spirit light.
Юрий Лазирко 31.08.2012 00:24 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you so much for your understanding and optimistically bright wordage.
It is only a matter of time before whatever lives in our hearts will be reunited with whoever watches over us from the Heaven.
Your heart is truthful and sincere – I wish for you: peacefulness, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to chase out the rains, and a lot of sunups to keep your spirit light.
Юрий Лазирко 31.08.2012 00:24 Заявить о нарушении
What a coincidence, my dear friend.... I happen to wish the same for you )
Best always,
Симона Пекер 31.08.2012 15:35 Заявить о нарушении
Best always,
Симона Пекер 31.08.2012 15:35 Заявить о нарушении
Рецензия на «haunted memories» (Юрий Лазирко)
This is so poignant. Your structure works wonderfully to deliver the ruptured emotions.
I have a few minor remarks:
"the body"
"as a new-corked bottle with a vintage____" label? stopper? something is missing. Did you mean to say "a bottle of wine?"
"I’ve to hoard the emotions" -> "I've had to hoard" or "I've hoarded"?
"by dividing the taken breath" -> "diving and taking" or "diving, having taken" ?
You know every time I read the first line I tend to misread "surrounded". In this context I really want to say "shrouded". It just pops in my mind due to a strong association with body and burial ceremonies. What do you think?
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 00:24 • Заявить о нарушении
This is so poignant. Your structure works wonderfully to deliver the ruptured emotions.
I have a few minor remarks:
"the body"
"as a new-corked bottle with a vintage____" label? stopper? something is missing. Did you mean to say "a bottle of wine?"
"I’ve to hoard the emotions" -> "I've had to hoard" or "I've hoarded"?
"by dividing the taken breath" -> "diving and taking" or "diving, having taken" ?
You know every time I read the first line I tend to misread "surrounded". In this context I really want to say "shrouded". It just pops in my mind due to a strong association with body and burial ceremonies. What do you think?
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 00:24 • Заявить о нарушении
Dina,
Thank you!
You are, as always, GREAT!
The verse is changed.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:45 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you!
You are, as always, GREAT!
The verse is changed.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:45 Заявить о нарушении
As I used "vintage" I ment "vine" in this case
I added the adjective as well,
"shrouded" makes the row colder, but much envisioned.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:46 Заявить о нарушении
I added the adjective as well,
"shrouded" makes the row colder, but much envisioned.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:46 Заявить о нарушении
But the picture is still clear in my mind...
My mother loved violets...
and that was the only time she got so many of them...
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:46 Заявить о нарушении
My mother loved violets...
and that was the only time she got so many of them...
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 01:46 Заявить о нарушении
Sorry to hear that your mother passed away...
This is a very nice tribute to her.
I made one mistake in my edits - I guess I kept seeing associations...
"by dividing the taken breath" is perfectly OK. What I saw was "diving"... You take yoour breath when you dive, right?
I like your style, but it requires a close attention.
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 04:51 Заявить о нарушении
This is a very nice tribute to her.
I made one mistake in my edits - I guess I kept seeing associations...
"by dividing the taken breath" is perfectly OK. What I saw was "diving"... You take yoour breath when you dive, right?
I like your style, but it requires a close attention.
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 04:51 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you Dina,
I know, I am not so friedly with a grammar.
T2G my son is 4th grader and I've a chance to re-learn it again.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 19:48 Заявить о нарушении
I know, I am not so friedly with a grammar.
T2G my son is 4th grader and I've a chance to re-learn it again.
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 19:48 Заявить о нарушении
Юрий,
Actually I did not mean grammar when I mentioned "close attention". I really meant it as a compliment. Your poetry is so rich and uses rather intricate metaphors, so it takes time and concentration to take it all in. (Hence my blooper with diving/dividing :))
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 20:11 Заявить о нарушении
Actually I did not mean grammar when I mentioned "close attention". I really meant it as a compliment. Your poetry is so rich and uses rather intricate metaphors, so it takes time and concentration to take it all in. (Hence my blooper with diving/dividing :))
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 20:11 Заявить о нарушении
One more thing... did you mean "haunted" ?
Feels like I was partially blind yesterday...
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 20:24 Заявить о нарушении
Feels like I was partially blind yesterday...
Беляева Дина 04.02.2009 20:24 Заявить о нарушении
Yes-yes-yes,
"hauted memories" , but "hunted down"...
Sorry for my misunderstanding,
And thank you, again
IOuri :)
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 21:01 Заявить о нарушении
"hauted memories" , but "hunted down"...
Sorry for my misunderstanding,
And thank you, again
IOuri :)
Юрий Лазирко 04.02.2009 21:01 Заявить о нарушении
Рецензия на «haunted memories» (Юрий Лазирко)
Such desperate sadness, touching the very heart, overwhelming...
Thank you for making me feel it!
Агната 03.02.2009 21:58 • Заявить о нарушении
Such desperate sadness, touching the very heart, overwhelming...
Thank you for making me feel it!
Агната 03.02.2009 21:58 • Заявить о нарушении