Love Is Ghost We Exorcise

Love is a ghost
We're trying to exorcise
But when it's lost
We're longing for paradise.

Think twice before gone
Maybe karmic love is meant for U
It's sad to dwell alone
No guarantee you'll find smth true.

But if you decided to quit,
Then walk with no looking back,
Constellations guide, Redmoon bleed,
Good hopes n faith put in your sack.


Рецензии
Forgive me for interfering, but the English teacher in me couldn't stay silent) I can't help but notice a few slips here) I suppose professional habits die hard — even when reading poetry)

We long for paradise.
It's sad to live alone
the Red Moon bleeds

See a haunting contradiction at the heart of this poem: love is a ghost we try to banish, yet once it's gone, we find ourselves longing for the paradise we thought we wanted to escape.

I particularly like the tension between the warning to think twice and the final insistence on walking away without looking back. The Red Moon and the constellations add a touch of cosmic fatalism, as if even the universe has something to say about our choices. Perhaps the poem's deepest question is whether we're leaving because love has truly ended, or because we're afraid to keep believing in it. After all, letting go and giving up aren't always the same thing)_

Тьяната Сакаулкья   29.10.2026 21:02   •   Заявить о нарушении
Live n Dwell are synonyms
Bleeds crash rhyme for Quit...
Long for, good idea) 👍

Дитрих Даркенштейн   29.10.2026 21:19   Заявить о нарушении
But hey, it's up to you whether to follow my advice or not)
Все же здесь live лучше) Dwell alone звучит книжно и немного архаично, а live alone естественно и прямо передаёт мысль: жить в одиночестве.
Think twice before you go звучит естественнее, но если все менять, это уже не тот стих будет.
Прошу прощения, что вмешалась.

Тьяната Сакаулкья   29.10.2026 21:27   Заявить о нарушении
Один пункт и два в др.стихе
Я подправил таки)))
Сэнкьё!!

Дитрих Даркенштейн   29.10.2026 21:37   Заявить о нарушении