But it is now the funny thing

I've been in love for quite a while,
Like bleeding out, but with a smile -
I liked to take the suffering in style.

And we were never even close,
And barely even friends, I'd say,
All kinds of things that I have lost...
I lost you way before I went away.
There wasn't really much to try to save.

And you were cold and distant for
A year or two, some time before
I knew I could not take it anymore.

But it is now the funny thing,
When I look back - it's only spring
And laughter and a crystal clear blue sky.
My heart only remembers you as kind.
As sweet, as caring, as a blast of light.
And even though I know this is not right,

I see you in my dreams - you laugh,
You ask me how I've been this year,
And haven't I suffered enough,
Haven't we both suffered enough,
Haven't we've seen us broken down and bare?

And all our fights - they seem so small,
And then my mind begins to sprawl,
It feels like there is no excuse for war.
For us to not be friends once more,
To not walk through an open door,
And not to heal what's hurt and what is sore.

It's now only a memory, that's all.

I wake up and I take my phone,
But then I close down, turn to stone,
Despair is unheard of and unknown.

Cus I know that it would take two,
And you've moved on a thousand times,
We're many years and thousand miles

Apart,

And there is nothing left to do.
Even back then I wasn't much to you.

I'm sorry for the things I've put you through.

I'm still in love with memory of you.