Leave Me Be

Leave me be, don't knock tonight,
I've had enough of borrowed weight.
I'll draw the curtains, dim the light,
And leave the whole wide world to wait.

My wooden shelves, my little chair,
The round old table by the wall —
Everything I need is here.
Tonight I need no one at all.

I'll take my coat off by the door
And empty everything I've worn:
A careless word from years before,
A promise broken yesterday morn.

A stone for every time I stayed
When someone else had walked away,
A stone for every debt I paid
That never had been mine to pay.

I'll lay them gently on the table,
One by one, and let them be.
I carried all I thought I had to.
How much of it belonged to me?

I don't need to carry this anymore.
I don't need their voices under my skin.
Let the autumn leave its leaves at the door,
Let the quiet in.

No revenge, no final word,
No need to make the old wounds small.
Some things don't have to be forgiven
To stop carrying them at all.

Here is the fear I called my duty.
Here is the grief I learned to hide.
Here is the weight I mistook for courage
Because I bore it all with pride.

And here — the words that said I'd fail,
Still sharp, although the years have passed.
Funny how a voice can disappear
While what it said is built to last.

So I forgive what I can forgive.
The rest can simply stay behind.
Not every door must open twice.
Not every loss needs one more line.

Outside, the trees release their gold
Without explaining what they do.
Perhaps there's nothing left to solve.
Perhaps it's only time to let go too.

I don't need to carry this anymore.
I don't need their voices under my skin.
Let the autumn leave its leaves at the door.
Let tomorrow begin when it begins.

No great vow, no grand goodbye,
No promise that I've been made new.
Just a lighter coat beside the door
And less of them
And more of me.

A clean white sheet.
A quiet room.
The autumn wind outside.

Leave me be.
Tonight,
I'm warm inside.

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