This night

(accidental telepathy at two in the morning)

This is a night of revelations. It closes around me like a rustling cloak, mounts me on a motorcycle hurtling madly forward, and throws me into the darkness. I fly along an interstate highway, across rocky plains, across white, dusty pampas. Tall cacti flicker through the gloom. On the horizon rise steep, sheer cliffs. The road grows rocky and white.

I hunted here once. I ran across the thorny plains with a spear at the ready, sliding like a shadow across the face of the moon. Vermin crawled out of their holes and froze in the whitish-blue light.

There was a ringing over the pampas. Cougars hunted, just as I did. Their supple black bodies slipped through the night.

I ran beneath the blue moon. People brought me sacrifices. Every night I went out to kill. Then I grew tired of it.

I met a young priest. He was dark-skinned and black-haired. He fell prostrate before me, yet among his own people he carried himself with pride and authority. He was like fire—black-red and supple, and when he danced, my heart stopped.

I brought him into the Pyramid and laid him upon the ritual slab. He was ready to go all the way. My paws came down upon his shoulders. His eyes were like two black vortices, pulling everything into them.

I do not know which of us was the master in that dance—the fragile Indian boy, or me, a hundred-kilogram beast capable of killing him with a single sweep of my paw. He conquered me, and I became tame and harmless. I followed him like a dog and wrapped myself around his legs. I lay prostrate before him—his god, bewitched by the power of those black eyes. I lay before my slave, not knowing what I was doing. And he placed his foot upon my chest. He bound me in golden chains and led me toward the prosperity of his people.

Emperor Kau-Temoc…

And then came the reckoning. And the reckoning was terrible.

No one knows how they got out. Some say Kau-Temoc’s enemies released them—the old priests. Some blame chance. But there is no such thing as chance. When we played with fire, we knew that sooner or later this would happen.

That was my game, my dance with Death. But while Death was administered in measured doses, I kept my paw upon her throat. Such is the Law of the Trail—today it is me, tomorrow it is her. I was learning. But Death was not sleeping either. And the moment I turned away…

We came to our senses too late. Night had closed behind our shoulders, the moon had drowned in an acidic slurry. We were tired of killing. We hacked away now like machines, but it was still like trying to hack through an ocean. The blue moon illuminated the corridors of dead streets and the vast squares surrounding the Pyramid.

Death was everywhere. It advanced like a tsunami, sweeping everything from its path. There were three of us—three Keepers of Order who had failed to preserve it. We retreated higher and higher. The black steps smoked beneath us. The plasma was gone, and we unstrapped our useless weapons. I thought of Kau-Temoc. It was my fault. But my companions did not think about it. They simply fought. They killed with a virtuosity they had never managed in life. We retreated up the endless stairs and carved our way through the enemy at the highest level of mastery.

At the level of death.

We competed with them in lethality, turning them to dust and hurling them down into the endless waves of the approaching hordes. We killed them again and again. We hacked at the darkness that had taken material form. Why did we do it? Probably out of pride.

We knew we could not hold out. The ascent ended, and above us there were only stars. Above us was only the Edge…

We looked at one another. At that moment there was absolute calm in our eyes. Each of us knew what had to be done. We were proud. We were above death and stronger than its insane fury. It would not defeat us. It would not sing its victory song over our bodies, stretched out in the dust…

All the darkness of hell came crashing down upon us from the blazing heavens. I think I was whispering his name. When Death's teeth sank into the back of my neck, I was entering the final numbers.

It would not defeat us.

Never…

Death caught up with us, but we did not let her leave.

We killed Death.

The mad dance ended in the purifying fire of Haratron.

Forgive me, Kau-Temoc…

The light burned everything away. Jungles grew thick across the radioactive earth. And only shadows remained upon the melted stones, shadows twisted in a sacred dance. We had played our game—a cruel, deadly ritual.

You played yours, without meaning or purpose. You multiplied and died without ever understanding what had happened. The night passed and went away, yielding to a new day. The planet did not shift from its orbit. Your yellow sun continued to shine just as brightly. Upon the scorched slabs of the ziggurat, my silhouette remained, being slowly buried beneath the dust.

The stars did not accept me.


Someday he will come here as a tourist. And I will cease to be an incorporeal shadow. Perhaps I will have to take shape as one of his kind. It will be horrible. But it is a just punishment for my carelessness, and so I am ready.

He will accept me as a creature of his own kind. He has forgotten everything. He will not believe me. I will suffer in silence and clench my teeth. I will suffer, and it will be a deserved punishment.

Humans do not live long. Humans die quickly. Soon enough I will be free, having endured the full torment of incarnation in a strange and feeble body. I kneel and offer my shoulders to the whip. Physical pain will pass—I am accustomed to enduring pain. But the wounds of guilty feelings will remain with me forever…

The sun rises over Yucat;n. At noon, groups of tourists arrive here and pose for pictures against the ruins. Someone, developing the film later, will suddenly see me. And think that he has been expertly pranked.

But no one dares come here at night…

And I still hope that some chance photograph will reach that young man with the black eyes…

Who, perhaps, is no longer young at all.

And perhaps his eyes are no longer black…

And again, under the full moon, I stand at the summit of the temple and look down at the white road. Dawn slowly kindles above the mountains. And the silhouette of a lone alien warrior disappears into the merciless rays…

Another night of deserved punishment.

Another day of useless waiting.

Tourist buses crawl slowly along the road. Dirty guides shout and wave their arms.

I am seized by madness.

I want to go hunting again.

And I forget that I am only a shadow…