The CERN Vampire

Beneath the Franco-Swiss soil, a circuit of despair,
Twenty-seven kilometers of coiled, electric prayer.
The prophets in white lab coats, with clipboards and a grin,
Proclaim the date of Rapture – they’ll peel the fabric thin.
They chase the ghost of Godhead, a boson made of greed,
But calculate the dosage of a catastrophic seed.

Spin the ring, break the code,
Feed the beast its heavy load!
Proton screams, neutron dies,
Hell is open – see the skies!
Anti-matter, spleen and matter,
Cosmic egg begins to shatter!
CERN's insane, we pulled the trigger,
Now the void begins to figure... US!
Now the void begins to figure... US!
US!

A flicker in the sensor – not a particle, but eyes.
A shadow that dissolves the light, a hunger in disguise.
They seeped through Kevlar shielding, they drink the Oh-My-God,
Not quarks or strangelets, gentlemen – this horror is a sod.
They waltz upon the supercooled, electromagnet stage,
And suck the kilowatt-hours like sages in a rage.

The Director screams through the intercom static,
"Reverse the polarity, it's too dramatic!"
But the things just laugh in a frequency grating,
They feed on the hadrons, our world is awaiting...
A terminal blackout, a zero-degree,
The entropy monsters are finally free.

Spin the ring, break the code,
Feed the beast its heavy load!
Proton screams, neutron dies,
Hell is open – see the skies!
Anti-matter, spleen and matter,
Cosmic egg begins to shatter!
CERN's insane, we pulled the trigger,
Now the void begins to figure... US!
Now the void begins to figure... US!
US!

Oh, noble Nobel prizes, oh, theories so pristine,
You traded heaven's physics for a meat-grinder machine.
You thought you'd catch the Higgs-boson, you thought you'd snare the Now,
But you just unplugged the socket from reality's cow.
Anti-matter doesn't matter when it meets your flesh and bone,
It's just a hungry tourist that prefers your planet alone.

Spin the ring, break the code,
Feed the beast its heavy load!
Proton screams, neutron dies,
Hell is open – see the skies!
Anti-matter, spleen and matter,
Cosmic egg begins to shatter!
CERN's insane, we pulled the trigger,
Now the void begins to figure...

They drink the gamma rays...
They drain the solar blaze...
And in the silent crater...
We are the data... late... er...
"Gentlemen... we have discovered... everything."