Detox

I need a detox from the human race
From every shadow wearing someone's face
All the bodies, all the speeches,
All the poison memory teaches
I pray the voices finally disappear
A funeral ringing endlessly in my ears
No more masks, no polished lies
No more pretending just to survive
I'm dissolving slowly in the ache
Every nerve a wire set to break
Even breathing feels obscene -
Like my lungs are filled with gasoline
So leave me alone
Just leave me alone

And in the near future,
My lover will be Her Majesty - Pain
I can already feel her fingers on my skin
She wants what I want
A love that survives until the end

Only she can touch me without mercy
Only she is relentless like me
We'll love each other slowly, cruelly,
endlessly,
Until she takes every last piece of me
Only she is certain like I am
Only she will stay forever
And somehow it feels honest
So honest.
Don't fight it
Just take me!

I buried hope beneath the floorboards
Watched it rot in silence for years
Every promise tasted hollow
Every smile disguised with fear
The world keeps asking for performances
Another role, another dive
But I am tired of resurrection
I'm sick of dying every night alive
And Pain -
She never lies to me
She never leaves

No halos
No heaven
No beautiful escape
Just her cold hands around my heartbeat
Keeping rhythm with the hate
If love means surrender
Then let the end begin
Because suffering knows my true name
Better than anyone ever did

Only she can hold me without trembling
Only she burns the way I burn
We'll fade together slowly into nothing
And neither of us will return
Only she is faithful like I am
Only she remains forever
And somehow it feels sacred -
Like the cruelest kind of heaven
Don't resist.
Don't speak.
Just take me!