Tinder Swipe Left on Your Feelings

Hey, listen here! Your messages are hanging in my phone like a hemorrhoid in the ass.
You send me little hearts, and I want to puke.
You write that we are soulmates, holy fucking shit.
But your profile is just a total fuck-up and Photoshop.
I don't need your love for shit, stop!


You showed up to the date covered in some rhinestones,
Talking absolute bullshit about your exes like they were diseases.
I nodded and drank my beer, thinking only about one thing:
How to secretly sneak the fuck out of here.
Your dog in the purse is growling at my sneaker,
This whole fucking circus is missing any parking logic.
You expect romance, flowers, and other trash,
And I look at you and think: what a fucking nightmare.

Припев
Swipe left on your fucking feelings!
It's way too empty for you in my bed!
Shove your romance deep into your crack!
I'd rather get shitfaced and go to a brothel!
Swipe left, bitch, swipe left!
You're not my queen, you're just a problem!


You talk about marriage and fucking kids,
And I just want to bounce as soon as possible.
Your snotty poems piss me off to the extreme,
Go to hell, darling, and simply goodbye.
Your cat hates me, I piss in its litter box,
Our romance is just a stupid fucking spiral.
You try to hug me when I'm playing my console,
That's it, fuck, it's over, I'm resigning.


You sob into the phone, saying I'm an asshole and a pig.
Bingo! You guessed it, I don't give a fuck, that's me!
Your tears won't replace a cold draft beer for me,
I'm deleting Tinder, this is my fucking craft!



Припев
Swipe left on your fucking feelings!
It's way too empty for you in my bed!
Shove your romance deep into your crack!
I'd rather get shitfaced and go to a brothel!
Swipe left, bitch, swipe left!
You're not my queen, you're just a problem!


Yeah, fuck all of this.
Swipe. Left.
Fuck off back to your mommy.
End of transmission.