Sarcasm Is My Second Language

My shrink said that I'm a toxic guy,
I replied: "Thanks, doc, that's an excellent high!"
He wrote a prescription to make me more kind,
But I flushed it down the toilet, it's more fun to my mind.
You talk about feelings, about karma and zen,
While I stare at the wallpaper, waiting for a change then.
"What a beautiful day!" — you chirp right in my ear.
Yeah, just like in paradise, only perfectly dry here.


You post quotes about success and motivation,
I hit like to support your degradation.
Bought yourself a shiny, brand-new sports car?
Sure, it will put out your internal fire by far.
"Are you listening to me?" — "Oh yeah, with my whole being,
Counting flies on the ceiling above your divine seeing".
Don't be offended, baby, it's just my style,
I turn drama into comedic scrap pile.

Припев
Sarcasm is my second language, I think in it!
Your seriousness sours like milk, wait a minute.
I'm not being rude, I'm just stating a fact:
Your intellect has gone on an endless entr'acte!
Sarcasm! Yes, I'm a polyglot!
Sarcasm! Put a smile in your slot!


Your dog in a sweater is the crown of creation,
I look at this miracle, losing my vision sensation.
You switched to smoothies and sprouted chickpeas?
Well, now they'll definitely give you the Nobel, please.
I'm not a cynic, I'm just a realist with a smirk,
Who opens the truth with a beer bottle quirk.
All these trends of yours are a soap bubble,
While I stand on the sidelines, like the main hero in trouble.

Припев
Sarcasm is my second language, I think in it!
Your seriousness sours like milk, wait a minute.
I'm not being rude, I'm just stating a fact:
Your intellect has gone on an endless entr'acte!
Sarcasm! Yes, I'm a polyglot!
Sarcasm! Put a smile in your slot!


No-no, I'm very happy for all your achievements.
Your plastic medal is worthy of respect agreements.
I'm crying with happiness, shed a stingy tear...
Though actually I'm just chopping onions in a storm here.
You're a genius, a titan, the center of the universe!
...Well, did you appreciate my effort's reimburse?


Припев
Sarcasm is my second language, I think in it!
Your seriousness sours like milk, wait a minute.
I'm not being rude, I'm just stating a fact:
Your intellect has gone on an endless entr'acte!
Sarcasm! Yes, I'm a polyglot!
Sarcasm! Put a smile in your slot!


Second language... first language...
What does it matter, if you're used to the baggage.
Smile and wave. End of transmission.