Where the Light Lets Go

A cycle of poems «This Is How We Disappear»

There’s a line the sun won’t cross,
A shadow where no hope gets through.
I stood there once… and then I lost -
Everything I thought was true.

I held her hand as colors drained,
The monitors sang their hollow tune.
She smiled like spring, though death remained
Just past the edge of afternoon.

Her breath grew thin, a silver thread,
A flicker caught in dying glass.
No miracle rose from the dead -
Just silence where the future was.

I begged the sky to bend its law,
To steal one more tomorrow’s hue.
But light withdrew without a flaw -
And left me standing… in the blue.

They say that love defies the end,
That souls endure beyond the veil.
But all I felt was how it bent -
This world, this heart, this endless trail.

This is where the light lets go,
Where dawn forgets the names we know.
No fire burns to guide the way -
Just embers of a fading day.
I scream into the voided air:
“Come back!”  -  but only shadows are there.

Now seasons turn with cruel routine,
The garden blooms where she once knelt.
Her favorite chair sits cold and clean,
A ghost in every breath I’ve felt.

I talk to walls. I feed her bird.
I wear the ache like second skin.
Each memory cuts - no word, no sword -
Just truth that will not let me in.

I see her in the rain’s soft hush,
In half-lit rooms and lullabies.
But when I reach, there’s just the rush
Of wind that steals her from my eyes.

They say that time will stitch the tear,
That grief will soften into grace.
But time just shows how empty years
Can fill a soul with silent space.

This is where the light lets go,
Where dawn forgets the names we know.
No fire burns to guide the way -
Just embers of a fading day.
I scream into the voided air:
“Come back!”  -  but only shadows are there.

Perhaps the light doesn’t leave -
Perhaps it waits beyond the fall.
Not gone… just veiled in what we grieve,
A pulse behind the cosmic wall.

Maybe love is not a chain,
But something wider than the sky -
A current flowing through the pain,
A whisper asking: "Let me die…
Not with you - but for you still,
To carry on against the night.
To walk the dark, against my will,
And keep your name inside the light."

So I will stand where brightness fades,
At dusk, where warmth begins to cease.
Not healed… but changed. Not unafraid…
But breathing into silent peace.

The stars appear - one, two, then all -
Like embers scattered far and low.
And though the light may not recall,
It knows the place where I still go.

This is where the light lets go…
And where, at last, I start to know.