Becoming the Silence

A cycle of poems «This Is How We Disappear»

I spoke to gods in midnight prayer,
But silence answered - cold and bare.
No thunder came, no blinding light…
Just stillness swallowing the night.

I carved my name in trembling stone,
Screamed it aloud through blood and bone.
But echoes died before they flew,
Lost in a sky of endless blue.

I lit a fire in frozen air,
Fed it with grief, with breath, with prayer.
It burned too bright, then turned to ash -
A hollow flame that couldn’t last.

The world kept turning, blind and vast,
Unmoved by all I’d dared to ask.
So I withdrew from sound and plea…
And learned to be what I could not see.

The voice I knew began to fade,
Not lost - but changed. Not betrayed.
Each word dissolved like mist at dawn -
Until the self was almost gone.

Now I am becoming the silence,
Drowning in sacred recompense.
No cry, no plea, no final shout -
Just peace that burns the soul out.
I shed my skin of noise and pride,
To vanish where the void resides.

I walked the halls of memory,
Where laughter danced eternally.
But every face had turned to glass,
Reflecting truths I’d never pass.

I called their names - one, two, then none -
My voice the last defeated sun.
They didn’t leave. They didn’t lie.
They simply were, beneath the sky.

And in their stillness, I could hear
The weight of absence - crystal clear.
Not emptiness, but depth profound -
A truth in which no words are found.

The storm within began to cease,
Replaced by ancient, cold release.
Not death, but birth in darker hue -
The self reborn as something true.

Now I am becoming the silence,
Drowning in sacred recompense.
No cry, no plea, no final shout -
Just peace that burns the soul out.
I shed my skin of noise and pride,
To vanish where the void resides.

I thought to speak would be to live,
To shout would make the darkness give.
But strength is not in how we call -
But in the courage not to fall…

Into the need for proof or sound,
For being seen on cursed ground.
True power lies in letting go -
In letting silence know your name.

So take my voice. Unmake my frame.
Let stillness win. Let burn the flame.
For in the hush, beyond the scream,
I finally am. I am the dream.

No more the echo. No more the fight.
No shadow clinging to the light.
I do not speak. I do not plead.
I am the space between the seed…

And growth. The pause before the breath.
The edge of life, the kiss of death.
I was the voice. I was the storm.
Now -
I am the silence.
I am warm.