Vasilich, the Transformation. Continuation

  Vasilich gradually got used to his unexpected new state — being a cactus in the office of the top executive. Thanks to his innate optimism, he tried to find advantages in his current situation. After all, he was quite a handsome cactus. The employees treated him with respect and always greeted him. Sometimes he even caught admiring glances from the girls in the executive’s office, who wondered how to make him bloom faster. Surely they couldn’t wait four years!

  There was a poet working in the office — Boris. He used to write speeches for the top executive. Later, after suffering from emotional burnout, he switched to writing boring reports and poetry. He dedicated poems to Vasilich. Vasilich particularly liked these lines:

“Vasilich has outgrown himself,
Enjoying gratitude and wealth.
Long has he moved among the high,
And all the crows feeling fright.
Vasilich — a firm part indeed
To hold state power in need.”

  The executive, too, treated Vasilich very warmly. He shared his thoughts with him, sometimes the most intimate ones — about how turbulence was growing in the world, about reports arriving at the office from all directions, each cancelling out the other, and about how hard it was to work under such conditions. There were too many idiots saying the right words. Because approved plans were not being fulfilled, they had to constantly approve new, even more ambitious ones… Only now did Vasilich begin to grasp the full wisdom of running the office.

  But one day, during one of these confessions, Vasilich learned the tragic details of his recent fate.

  “Do you know why you’re called Vasilich?” the executive asked. Vasilich politely remained silent. The executive continued: “We once had a diligent employee, Yevgeny Vasilyevich. They say he looked a bit like me. We even considered appointing him chief paper copier. But he had one flaw: he didn’t wear glasses. And I issued an office order stating that all paper copiers must wear glasses to better decipher my handwriting and avoid mistakes… But that’s not what I’m talking about now… Such is human fate… Yevgeny Vasilyevich had a cup of tea from our special cafeteria in the evening. Right where you’re standing now. And he never woke up… That’s why we named you Vasilich — in his memory.”

  Sometimes, amid growing turbulence, the executive worried about the future of the office. Even then, he cared about Vasilich.

  “Don’t be afraid if they shut us down. I won’t leave you to your fate,” he promised. “Though I can’t take you home. I have a wife… You know, sometimes I think she’s a witch. She can summon a thunderstorm or a rainbow in the sky. But I love her!.. She got a big black cat named Hippo. He’s always fighting cacti, giving them no peace! He knocks them over with his paw, despite the thorns… If anything happens, I’ll arrange for you at the Apothecary Garden. They have a whole spacious room for cacti in the greenhouses there. I have connections in Moscow’s Central District — we’ll work something out…”

  “Well,” thought Vasilich, “I’m ready for any twists of fate. After all, I’m still on duty and don’t belong to myself.”

  Let us note that, despite his conscious readiness to continue dutifully bearing the cross that had fallen upon him, Vasilich had no idea what new and unexpected turns fate had in store for him…

  To be continued…

Boris Bakhmetyev
June 25, 2025