Insanity

It was cold. Coldness, it was all I felt, going deeper. Into... nothingness. Darkness. Pain my shattered being could never endure. Internal, it was eating me from within like acid.

"It was all your fault." She said.
"Why did you have to be born?" She said.

"You murdered her when she tried to say sorry. Left her to die all alone, in cold, when she considered you her friend." She said.

"You drove him to this. Carried a massacre through another's hands just for nothing. Led him to get himself smashed. And you won't protect him now." She said.

"You are nothing. You failed to save him then, and you will fail again. And again. You will fail forever, because it will never end. She hates you. Everyone hates you. You killed everyone. You ruined everything. You won't ever have your peace." She kept talking, monotone icy voice. It wouldn't shut up.

Images kept flashing. Little frame in wet blue T-shirt with bleeding nape, asking why. Asking why did I leave her. Why did I have to be mean. Why killed her dad. Saying it was cold. Saying sorry. I couldn't take it.

Darkened little figures, repeating am I happy now. Asking why killed them. Saying I was cruel, and when said it would hurt their parents more that way, they knew taking what was most dear to me was going to hurt me more too.

Shadow of what resembled a woman, her head hanging on a broken neck, repeating distantly that it's cold, asking why would a child need to do such atrocities, and saying she won't forgive.

Shadow of a girl looking fractured, demanding to stop playing tricks on her loved one, that he's got to love her more and be with her and not with me, that I'm lying about wishing him well and I'm not his 'partner'. That I destroyed him. That I led him into this. And that I'm the only monster here.

Distorted figure of a man, placing his hand on the first's shoulder. Looking down with cold look full of frustrated contempt. Saying she trusted me. Trusted to be so horrendously betrayed. That he just wanted the truth, but I killed him instead.

Shadowy silhouette of another man, younger, saying I wouldn't have been able to stop them from ending this. That he always knew I was responsible. That I am disgusting. That I should stop playing a hero protecting him. That I shouldn't huddle on the floor like a child, because it means nothing even if I am. That I am facing what I deserved.

Tiniest figure of a barely noticeable little girl, her throat slit, asking why did I hurt her when she liked my fairytale, and why lied about her brother.

My partner behind me, pained and desperate - bleeding as he clings to me.

And finally, her - the host, behind all, steady and cold, looking down with nothing but pure searing hatred. Darkened little figure with mutilated by stabs body and bleeding eyes glowing bright red. Saying she will never let me go. That she will never let him go. That I will protect no one. That we will both be suffering forever.

I couldn't take it anymore. No more. Screaming, I didn't even feel myself. All I felt was sheer agony. I was crumbling at the seams, my very essence, darkening was dissolving me in itself. My darkening, tearing me from within. I wouldn't stop waking up in the rest home after yet another nightmare.