My existence is shattered

My existence is shattered... split into pieces of never ending life. What am I... I can't think clearly. There's only pain. This cold. This darkness. I watch the sky above, black and starless, like the primordial void of nothingness. It isn't raining anymore. It's snowing. The snow falls like ash on the floor of the torture chamber. I want to sleep. Want to close my eyes to have a moment, just a single moment of relief. It'll never come. The neverland... my neverland. That is how it actually looked like... from within. From the very beginning... it hurts. It all just hurts. To move. To think. It wasn't meant to exist. The place... worse than hell. It was all me. The ones dear for me got into this... the death... wasn't the end... I don't understand. The bleeding doesn't stop. There's no time in the cursed dimension. Feels like I'm all alone in this world. Thought that I'm not is making it worse. Hatred rules over. I don't want to feel. I want to stop breathing. Thoughts are mess, tangling into heating whole. My sunshine will be happy out there even without me. The only thing that makes it all a little easier...