Life is a college

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I have never been
Decisive, strong, or brave.
Smiling with a grin,
But truth is I'm slave.

My hope's wearing thin
While leading to the grave.
Yet the skin I'm in
Still has wild things to crave.

I release my rhymes
From darkest, raw desires.
Pain grips and inspires
Nerves tighten like steal wires.

Waiting deep inside
My fragile and sick mind
For someone who'll fight
For dreams the same as mine.

I'm not enough
Prepared and tough
Surviving rough
Without a buff.

I'm not a hero,
Far from a saint
My weight is zero
My mind is faint.

I've realised it
A long, long time ago -
Bones in my closet,
Unable to let go.

You are so advanced
When catching brand new stream
Then in my own past
I had the same strong deen.

I was watching you
And studied every step -
All the things you do
And every taken breath.

Then I've realised
That I can do the same
Every choice is praised
Though price is my own shame.

Now I'm looking up
And see there is no top.
Not afraid of flop
Or being drowned in mob.

I am enough
Soar like a puff
Surviving rough
Without a buff.

I'm not a zero,
Nobody's saint.
Despite life's weirdo,
Thoughts will not faint.

I've changed my mind now
To keep real vision clear
Left old damn hideout
And let go all my fears.

Was it very hard? Acknowledge!
Was it something from unreal?
Life is never-ending college -
It will hurt you, heal and kill.

Did it work for you? Acknowledge!
Life is teaching day by day.
Long time coming, this foreknowledge -
In the end you'll be Okey.

You are enough
Soar like a fluff
Surviving rough
Without a buff.

You're not a zero,
Nobody's saint.
Despite life's weirdo,
Thoughts will not faint.

So changed your mind now
To keep real vision clear
Left old damn hideout
And let go all your fears.