The Happy Meal Incident

Three in the morning, chewing on a paper cup
Smells like grease in here, looks like I'm stuck
Light in the doorway, but it ain't the police
It's a green chick, bringing me sweet relief.
Three big eyes staring at my Big Mac sack
I thought, "Okay, I'm a total moron, but there's no turning back."
She's got a tin foil suit and an "Employee of the Month" badge
If I don't bang her now, I'll go completely mad.
She said: "Take me to your leader" in perfect English speech
I said: "Baby, the leader is in my pants, and he smells like whiskey... and bleach."

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Sex with an alien in the McDonald's stall!
She wants my nugget, she wants it all!
No UFOs, no Area 51
Just me, her, and a mayonnaise run!
Between the Men's room and the Ladies' loo
We threw an intergalactic barbecue!


We locked ourselves in, tight as a coffin space
She dropped the suit, I saw scales all over the place (Wow!)
She’s got tentacles right where her hands should be
She unzipped my jeans, set the monster free.
Close encounter of the third freaking kind
Sliding on the tiles, leaving grease and ketchup behind.
She whispered formulas for hyper-jump in my ear
I tried not to think that she was slimy and weird.
Secret sauce dripping down the wall
Ronald McDonald giving me a booty call!


Two all-beef patties... special sauce...
Lettuce... cheese...

SHE STUCK A TENTACLE RIGHT IN MY BRAIN!
But I liked it!
Honestly, I kinda liked it!


Sex with an alien in the McDonald's stall!
She wants my nugget, she wants it all!
No UFOs, no Area 51
Just me, her, and a mayonnaise run!
Drive-thru line is honking, causing a scene
But we’re blasting off to the stars, if you know what I mean!


Hey, listen, do you guys have potato wedges on Mars?

No? Damn. Well, I ain't going then. Call me a taxi back to Jersey.