GMO Free and PMS Free

7 AM, alarm clock, I open one eye
Next to me a body in curlers, issuing a cry:
"Take out the trash, you forgot the flowers again!"
I've got a migraine, she's got a complaints train.
I walk to the kitchen, I open the door—
There stands the cold one, the beast I adore.
It doesn't ask me where I was last night
It just waits there for the time to be right.


No scandals, no "we need to talk" debris
It only has a cap that needs to be knocked free!

Припев
Beer doesn't get jealous of my friends!
(Hey! Ho!)
Beer doesn't call me when the party ends!
(Hey! Ho!)
Beer doesn't have a mom coming for lunch
Beer doesn't have an opinion on my hunch!
Cold and wet, always ready to screw
Beer is better than a wife — I promise you!


Look at the layout, it's pure math, you see
Wife has "those days," beer has only static glee.
If I grab another beer — the first one won't care
If I grab another dame — I'm in a wheelchair.
You can take a beer to a bar, a movie, the loo
With a wife in the toilet — well... that's harder to do.
And the main rule, remember this, you moron:
You can peel off a label, but not alimony later on.


It doesn't demand a fur coat.
It doesn't want to go to the Maldives.
It doesn't care that you left socks on the floor.
It just wants to be inside you.
Sound gay? Maybe.
But it tastes better than your marriage!




If a beer goes flat — you just grab a new one
If a wife goes flat — well, you’re basically done.
Beer always has a great figure — one pint size
No need to dress it up or wait for the surprise.
It’s always a "blonde" or "dark" — whatever you choose
No wedding ring, no stamp, and no bad news!

Припев
Beer doesn't get jealous of my friends!
(Hey! Ho!)
Beer doesn't call me when the party ends!
(Hey! Ho!)
Beer doesn't have a mom coming for lunch
Beer doesn't have an opinion on my hunch!
Cold and wet, always ready to screw
Beer is better than a wife — it's the basis, fool!


And you know what else?
Beer only gives you a headache in the morning.
A wife gives you one for life.
Yeah.