Pussy Director Barsik s Cut

Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Check the white balance, bitches.


I thought he was cleaning his balls on the shelf
But he was adjusting the zoom by himself
In his eyes, there's no loyalty, just a time-code
My cat's not a pet, he's a media node
I'm sweating like a pig, trying to hit the beat
While he sits in the corner, cold like a spreadsheet
That red dot isn't a laser for play
It's recording, baby, we’re live today
Selling our shame for Whiskas and treats
The Dark Web is already streaming these cringe feats.


He doesn't want pets, he wants the angle (Angle!)
Seen more hardcore shit than the whole quadrangle (Quadrangle!)
He's got a GoPro on his collar, you know?
It's rough, furry, home video.

Припев
My cat is a secret porn director (Meow!)
Shoots harder than Lars von Trier, the inspector (Meow!)
Editing with paws while I'm asleep
Selling clips where I go... uh... deep
My cat is a secret porn director!
Cut!


Yesterday I found a script in his litter tray
Notes said: "More passion, keep the audience at bay"
He demands drama, he demands light
If I finish too early — my shoes get shite
He's a master of close-ups, a woolen voyeur
In a past life, a scandalous auteur
His whiskers like antennas catching 5G
Streaming our sex to some bum for a fee
I hear that purring — that's the motor running!
My acting skills? Man, it's totally stunning.


Zoom in. (Zip)
Zoom out. (Zip)
Focus on the ass. (Meow?)
No, Barsik, not mine!
(Guitar distortion noises)
Get your tail out of the frame!
Lights! Camera! Valerian!

Припев
My cat is a secret porn director (Go, go!)
Shoots harder than Lars von Trier, the inspector (Ooh!)
Editing with paws while I'm asleep
Selling clips where I... well, you know.
My cat is a secret porn director!


Hey, Ginger.
How much did we make on views?
Two cans of p;t;?
Seriously?
I threw my back out for p;t;?
Okay, stop, cut.
Shut it down.