Why does my dick think better than me?

My IQ is like a stool, but only above the belt
There's a monkey in my skull hitting cymbals, I can hear its voice felt
I forgot my card PIN and my mom's birthday date
But my "little brother" solves theorems and calculates fate.
He is Elon Musk in pants, he is Stephen Hawking in denim
While I'm dumb at the checkout, he's got a business plan in 'em (well, almost).
I look at the lecture, he looks at the cleavage
We have a democracy, but my vote is always the grievance.
He's like a GPS navigator that always leads to a strip club
And I'm just the driver, and honestly, I'm quite a flub.

Припев
Why does my dick think better than me?
He has a Nobel, I have... two rubles, you see.
He is a chess player, calculating every move
While I'm just looking for food to approve.
My head is a cork, but he is the captain
Why is he smarter? Tell me, what happened!
"It's hard!"

Listen here.
If my brain got as much blood as this guy does
I’d have cured aging long ago and flown to Mars with a buzz.
But no, physics is a bitch, gravity pulls down
All my genius hangs there like a sad clown.
He knows the timing, he knows when to rise (literally)
My logic sleeps, his logic is a prize.
He's a lie detector, a compass, a dowser true
And I'm just an idiot spitting in a well, haven't a clue.
Brad Pitt in "Fight Club" — that's him, I'm Edward Norton
Only instead of soap, we're cooking... whatever, not important.


One eye... looks into the darkness.
He's like a Cyclops. He sees the essence.
I'm reading Kant. He wants...
I'm solving Sudoku. He wants...
Priorities, man. Evolution messed up.

Припев

Why does my dick think better than me?
He has a strategy, I have... debris.
He is the general, I'm a private in the trench
He seeks adventure, I seek a bench... in French? (Not rhyming, whatever)
My head is a cork, but he is the captain
Why is he smarter? Because he's drunken!