Exclusive publishing series by Olga Slobodkina-von
if the Sky
did not shake
from time to time
to dawn on those
who
It puts poetry through...?
Jan. 20 2010
***
2. Arabian DREAMLIGHT lamp
Dreamlight
lights up an Arabian City,
the City of a Thousand and One night...
You'll never go through a thousand.
but one
can be read quickly,
like the tale of your life.
Its flame looms in the sky
of the white ceiling -
a lunar eclipse.
The minarets carry their towers
to asymmetric stars -
that's what they look like
in the Islamic world -
and the houses smoke their fumes to God...
Allah!
This is not the magic of the childhood,
nor the euphoria of the youth.
This is art,
spiritual drug of maturity -
the invisible hookah,
whose fragrances
are repose for the soul,
like a prayer.
I'm praying for your soul...
My friend!
Life is so short.
Only a moment of love...
I'm looking
at the Arabian City,
its being...
And breathe in the magic of the night,
just one,
that can be read,
like the tale of your life.
May 21, 2000
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***
3.Patterns on the mirror
The eye's disappeared...
for I did not look into it,
and when the energy's gone,
the thing dies away,
evanesces,
and yet
it continues its essence
like life itself -
in full action
mint in your mind,
in your soul - a reflection...
It was clear -
that was a gray-haired man,
black,
close-cropped,
with a neat
gray-haired
beard.
He was looking at me
as if he had seen me before -
ay!
A frisky boy
was playing nearby
with his colored light rattle
as it goes in the lore.
In the distance there were zebras,
a high brazier,
and on the stakes sat exotic sculls.
Africa! - cried out my heart.
But the patterns were melting,
really quickly...
This image, this sign
and a different existense
were shown to me all of a sudden
on the surface of the clear mir-
ror.
Feb.17, 2006
Written in Russian and translated by me into English
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***
4. Have you seen a bird of prey in winter?
When the rocks stand like gray-haired elders,
And the shaggy wolves on their hungry path
Wander through frozen hollows.
Everything's white. Everything's still.
Only a predatory flight
Vigilantly circles in the gloom of the swollen skies,
Spinning the invisible lace in the mountain throat...
The stone forest spinning in its eyes.
So inaudible is the gliding of the hawk
What it merges with the silence of the rocks,
The hush takes in the wings caressing the air
In a terrible secret, preparing a lethal landslide.
The stone erasing roar of mad rivers
- rushing down from the top, heads forward -
Does not reach here.
And God forbid that you get infected with the dumbness
Of the nameless demon of these lands.
Everything's white. Everything's still.
Only Time passes by,
But slowly. The speed of time is constrained.
It is moved just by the bird's flight -
So that you cannot forget about Death.
Winter 1989
The Tsey Gorge, North Osetia
***
5.
To our teacher, Grant Aleksandrovich Genzhentsev
Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
A sea of ;;memories
associations...
But it's great.
Just look at us!
Now there's no need to be afraid!-
all the destinies are in full view...
Something has been fulfilled, a success,
something didn't work out,
something was not right at all,
something has simply passed...
But... you can breathe calmly -
now noth-
ing can be changed withal...
Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
Stylish porcelain room,
where I find (nostalgie)
a tea set "Golden Reindeer",
which stood
in the carved sideboard
of my granny Iri-
na
in Ulansky Pereulok, Central Moscow,
where we used to live...
Now
everything is in The Upper World,
in the Other Rea-
lity...
Everything is as it is...
And here
songs rush into the starry night,
guitar strings ring...
I look at the almost old gyus
recognizing them as young things...
But...
We're still strong!
We can still do a lot!
Who was rude
is still so -
ok...
Some have tenderer ways,
some have a careful way...
They say,
before you sit down to write a book
of memoirs,
the author needs to put on a white frock
coat -
to link
the rents
of silence
by ties...
So let's not recollect bad pies!
Let's cast
them off.
Those times
were filled with life
and happiness -
we are all involved in the past.
Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
What we experienced back then!
And now - we can only sing songs
without straining the veins.
And where would we be
if it weren't for our teacher...
Oh, he was great!
We'd wander along
our own life paths...
It's all solely by his grace.
(In the Palace of Creativity
you can see
his face)
And today we wouldn't extract
from the geological layers of the mind
these melodies
of the pastime,
drawing them up in the air,
knowing the patterns,
raising the shafts high
and straightening the panels of ancient banners -
priceless treasures of consciousness -
in simple choruses...
No longer
are many of us...
But...
we remember them -
memories! -
friends continue their exis-
tence
in our hearts
at least...
On the threshold of the old age
we bow our heads...
Full -
to the visible edge -
are our hikes:
the Caucas-
us,
Lake Seliger, the Istra River,
Dagestan and Karelia...
You can go on with this list...
This old world
became new for us...
Reunion of the Youth Adventure Club...
Everyone is inside themselves thinking about their own...
But it's great - just look at us!
God willing, we'll sing again!
Oct.3, 2023. Translated by me from my eponymous poem in Russian
***
6.
Tangles of words...
Rhythms of the soul,
alien to the Earth...
This is Poetry,
an orphan girl.
Nobody needs her -
she is thrown
out
from both her worlds,
from both her family clans...
Intricacies of words
is your alcove.
No suitors
no
loving hearts...
And even if...
it is too late...
Only the End
will raise you above Fate...
November 24, 2024
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7. T'is love
that makes us tender
And lack of love
can harden up the heart...
Dec. 9, 2024
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8. Be tall and straight
among the world of evil spirits...
And kind and tender,
loving and protective...
Isn't it a challenge for the heart!
But t'is the Aim,
the End...
And we shall leave
leaving this world apart...
Dec. 9, 2024
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9. ROSES IN THE PARK
How do they feel at night -
Roses in the Park?
They cannot cover themselves...
Are they cold?
Scared?
I don't know...
I wanted to spend the night in the German Cemetary -
hiding,
imitating
Samtaurian Gabriel -
to get rid of fear...
But now,
after two Covids
and two Epstein-Barrs...
my health is down...
And such a night.
will be the last one...
Then I'll wait.
Maybe I can recover...
"Crazy," everydayers will say.
It's not about us at all.
I'm bored thinking about them,
considering
every day and hour of their down-to-earth life.
But... These are their ways...
Peace be with them.
I think about the Delicate Roses
in the flower bed
shaped like a huge rosette
in the Park Square...
How do they feel at night?
Aren't they cold?
Aren't they scared?
It's already autumn...
what's going to happen to them?
Will they be transplanted?
But...
they are not afraid
living in the moment -
here and now...
September 3, 2023
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***
10. The Snow is covering the trees
and roofs of cars and houses,
and grass roots
that will sleep in the ground
until Spring.
Aren't they cold?
How can they
come to life again
after a fierce, ominous winter!
So are the souls of people -
fall asleep in their Divine Sleep...
But this is for us.
And they continue their Unearthly Path
Where is their Eternal Imperishable Fatherly Home...
January 1, 2025
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***
11. A moment of beauty -
the sparkling Sun
on the rippled waters
through
the unusually
elongated leaves
of the unusually
round trees.
Another year has passed -
a year of temptations,
frustrations,
success,
betrayals,
traveling,
work
and disease...
There has been
so much of everything,
but I don't seem
to have become
a more perfect me.
I think,
everything
has happened
already.
But that is not true.
There will be more temptations,
more frustrations,
more success,
more betrayals
more traveling,
work
and disease.
Plus horrors
of the old age.
And I don't seem
to have the energy
to become
a more perfect me.
But that is not true.
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12. The First Impressions of Kara-Dag
Oh, how it shook me for the first time -
all these cliffs
(with crevices,
black flows of lava)
hovering in the lofty skies,
guttural seagulls' cries,
fluffy flowers on the bushes
and the rhythmic roar of the waves
caressing the shore,
licking the pebbles,
little bays
giving refuge to wild olives,
gigantic stone sculptures
up to their waists in the water
and the non-extinguished spirit
of the extinct Volcano...
July 1, 2000
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13. So life is
what it is -
with all its frustrations,
betrayals.
However,
it's beautiful withall...
And all the temptations
are gone
when cosy restaurants
in a row
go all along the
the boulevards
with trees and flowers
stretching for yards and yards...
And all the memories
live only in the mind,
the places do not have them anymore -
they've changed themselves...
And life seems beautiful,
the people young
and all the sufferings are gone
when cosy restaurants
in a row
with trees and flowers
stretching for yards and yards
go all along the boulevards...
June 2015
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14. Pain can go...
Remorse is worse...
March, 2025
15. Well, this is my life -
nothing personal,
but...
lots to do,
even more to think about.
My day ends in a park,
the wind is quite strong
for the middle of May.
The sportsmen in the football field
are exercising.
How could I have lived through all those years of mine?
The years of hardship,
disease,
rare success
and even more rare revelation...
The effort was big,
the feedback...
maybe as big.
Half a century
was not enough
to become so wise
as to judge myself
rightly and fairly.
Shall I ever learn?
My strange way gets stronger.
I'm on the verge of a new stage.
How could I get through
this lonely way of mine!
Must be the fate.
Nobody cares,
but I'm still going on...
May 12, 2012
***
16. From my KOKTEBEL DIARY 2000
And at night - the lights,
in the blackness of the water,
in the velvet of the air -
a perfect symmetry
of self-reflecting worlds,
self-reflecting elements...
Likewise
in my mind -
invisible lights
of self-reflecting spirits
play
leur jeu eternel...*
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*(French) - their eternal game
August 1, 2000
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17.
"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand."
Job 38:4
When I'm asleep
my previous memory is alive...
I know what I mean -
it's not the memory
of my previous lives...
I can remember things
I had always known -
long before I came to the Earth...
when there was no Earth...
I don't know what my spirit was
when God was creating this world,
but the memory is alive...,
my previous memory...
Nov.19, 2021
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18. Give me
tall pine trees,
distant stars in the frosty sky
and take away pictures of countries
where you'll never be and have never been...
November 21, 2019
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19. The naked sound
of your old grand piano
is piercing the heart of cloudy March...
I want to go away and out - to the Oceans,
into the depths of the Unknown Wild Lands
where everything is different -
the heart,
the vision
and the hearing...
No need for earthly worries.
And even your grand piano's groans
and the starry sky's unprecedented map -
a giant diamond spider -
are unrecognizable,
transformed
by the Unheard of Harmony of the Universe...
March 31, 1998
***
20. It's cold. It's very cold.
The islands are flooded...
The trees are waist-deep in the water...
They stand shivery, legs tucked in...
Ducks and drakes glide smoothly
on the mirror surface
leaving patterns
they don't know about...
Neither do we...
We don't know
what we leave
in people's hearts...
May 12, 2025
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21. I have my little happiness in the morning
when I'm half awake
and my Angel
is writing His Poetry
in my mind...
May 14, 2025
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22. On the shore of the ocea
I achieve tranquility...
What do I want?
To work, to pray, to create...
And sometimes to go out
to the shore of sand,
sun
and sparkle...
And feel the Happiness of the Universe...
Ocean... Heaven...
Eternal life on Earth...
June 29, 2022
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23. O, my Lord!
Even if all men go on doing their hackneyed business
to lose the sense of beauty, the very ability to perceive it,
even if there is no one in the world to admire your world
(not even the children or the old)
I will be the one.
And I'll never get bored.
The ripples on your tremulous waters,
the blurred face of the Sun - upside down -
looking like a Medieval oil painting
on the mirror palms of the ponds,
The cloud lambs or the lamb clouds
living under the water
in their funny herds
And the long pensive thoughts of the trees
reflected by the World
open just for a few Chosen Ones.
Oct.5-6 2005
***
24.
"He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap."
Ecclesiastes 11:4
"If I were a bear and a big bear too"
Alexander Milne
My "friends" used to boast
brandishing their business
in front of my nose,
trying to show me my place...
I don't have such "friedns" anymore -
they are out of their depth with me.
For I'm different,
a creative race.
I won't let them eat my core
again.
My business is chasing the shadows
and watching the clouds
and putting together the rhymes...
I'll never reap or make wines.
Making money in businesses is not my cup of tea,
but my art works are travelling all over the world -
for free.
I have no sword or shield,
but got an International Certi-
ficate -
The Knight of Creati-
vity!
There are only 6 such Certificates in the world...
Ideas come from the air...
I'm a lady of Nowhere...
And if I were a bear
I'd come to my scandalous neighbours
and scoop them out of their sordid affair!)))
July 8, 2024
***
25. What am I living for?
"The Earth is Art, The Photographer is only a Witness"
Yann Arthus-Bertrand, Earth from Above
What am I living for?
Not to photograph shadows on the road...
But I am
photographing them...
Translated from my Russian poem
THE END OF PART V
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