Exclusive publishing series by Olga Slobodkina-von

  1. What would this world be like
   if the Sky
  did not shake
   from time to time
  to dawn on those
   who
   It puts poetry through...?
 
 
 
  Jan. 20 2010
 
 
   ***
 
  2. Arabian DREAMLIGHT lamp
 
 
  Dreamlight
   lights up an Arabian City,
   the City of a Thousand and One night...
 
  You'll never go through a thousand.
   but one
  can be read quickly,
   like the tale of your life.
 
  Its flame looms in the sky
   of the white ceiling -
   a lunar eclipse.
 
  The minarets carry their towers
   to asymmetric stars -
  that's what they look like
   in the Islamic world -
  and the houses smoke their fumes to God...
 
  Allah!
 
 
  This is not the magic of the childhood,
   nor the euphoria of the youth.
 
  This is art,
   spiritual drug of maturity -
  the invisible hookah,
   whose fragrances
   are repose for the soul,
   like a prayer.
 
  I'm praying for your soul...
 
  My friend!
   Life is so short.
   Only a moment of love...
 
  I'm looking
   at the Arabian City,
   its being...
   And breathe in the magic of the night,
   just one,
   that can be read,
   like the tale of your life.
 
 
  May 21, 2000
 
 
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   21 ;;;; 2000
 
 
  ***
 
 
  3.Patterns on the mirror
 
 
 
  The eye's disappeared...
   for I did not look into it,
  and when the energy's gone,
   the thing dies away,
  evanesces,
   and yet
  it continues its essence
   like life itself -
   in full action
   mint in your mind,
   in your soul - a reflection...
 
 
 
  It was clear -
   that was a gray-haired man,
   black,
   close-cropped,
   with a neat
   gray-haired
   beard.
 
  He was looking at me
   as if he had seen me before -
  ay!
 
 
  A frisky boy
   was playing nearby
   with his colored light rattle
   as it goes in the lore.
 
 
  In the distance there were zebras,
   a high brazier,
   and on the stakes sat exotic sculls.
 
  Africa! - cried out my heart.
   But the patterns were melting,
  really quickly...
   This image, this sign
   and a different existense
   were shown to me all of a sudden
  on the surface of the clear mir-
   ror.
 
 
  Feb.17, 2006
   Written in Russian and translated by me into English
 
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   ;;;;;;.17, 2006
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   ***
 
  4. Have you seen a bird of prey in winter?
  When the rocks stand like gray-haired elders,
  And the shaggy wolves on their hungry path
  Wander through frozen hollows.
 
 
  Everything's white. Everything's still.
  Only a predatory flight
  Vigilantly circles in the gloom of the swollen skies,
  Spinning the invisible lace in the mountain throat...
  The stone forest spinning in its eyes.
 
 
  So inaudible is the gliding of the hawk
  What it merges with the silence of the rocks,
  The hush takes in the wings caressing the air
  In a terrible secret, preparing a lethal landslide.
 
 
  The stone erasing roar of mad rivers
   - rushing down from the top, heads forward -
  Does not reach here.
  And God forbid that you get infected with the dumbness
  Of the nameless demon of these lands.
 
 
  Everything's white. Everything's still.
  Only Time passes by,
  But slowly. The speed of time is constrained.
  It is moved just by the bird's flight -
  So that you cannot forget about Death.
 
 
 
  Winter 1989
  The Tsey Gorge, North Osetia
 
  ***
  5.
  To our teacher, Grant Aleksandrovich Genzhentsev
 
 
 
 
  Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
   A sea of ;;memories
  associations...
   But it's great.
  Just look at us!
 
  Now there's no need to be afraid!-
   all the destinies are in full view...
  Something has been fulfilled, a success,
   something didn't work out,
  something was not right at all,
   something has simply passed...
 
  But... you can breathe calmly -
   now noth-
  ing can be changed withal...
 
  Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
   Stylish porcelain room,
  where I find (nostalgie)
   a tea set "Golden Reindeer",
   which stood
   in the carved sideboard
  of my granny Iri-
   na
   in Ulansky Pereulok, Central Moscow,
   where we used to live...
 
 
  Now
   everything is in The Upper World,
   in the Other Rea-
   lity...
  Everything is as it is...
 
 
  And here
   songs rush into the starry night,
  guitar strings ring...
   I look at the almost old gyus
  recognizing them as young things...
 
 
  But...
   We're still strong!
  We can still do a lot!
 
  Who was rude
   is still so -
  ok...
   Some have tenderer ways,
   some have a careful way...
 
 
  They say,
   before you sit down to write a book
  of memoirs,
   the author needs to put on a white frock
  coat -
   to link
   the rents
  of silence
   by ties...
 
 
  So let's not recollect bad pies!
   Let's cast
  them off.
   Those times
  were filled with life
   and happiness -
   we are all involved in the past.
 
 
  Youth Adventure Club. Reunion...
   What we experienced back then!
  And now - we can only sing songs
   without straining the veins.
 
 
  And where would we be
   if it weren't for our teacher...
   Oh, he was great!
  We'd wander along
   our own life paths...
  It's all solely by his grace.
 
  (In the Palace of Creativity
   you can see
  his face)
 
  And today we wouldn't extract
   from the geological layers of the mind
  these melodies
   of the pastime,
   drawing them up in the air,
  knowing the patterns,
   raising the shafts high
  and straightening the panels of ancient banners -
   priceless treasures of consciousness -
  in simple choruses...
 
  No longer
   are many of us...
 
  But...
   we remember them -
  memories! -
   friends continue their exis-
  tence
   in our hearts
  at least...
 
  On the threshold of the old age
   we bow our heads...
 
 
  Full -
   to the visible edge -
  are our hikes:
   the Caucas-
  us,
   Lake Seliger, the Istra River,
  Dagestan and Karelia...
   You can go on with this list...
  This old world
   became new for us...
 
  Reunion of the Youth Adventure Club...
   Everyone is inside themselves thinking about their own...
  But it's great - just look at us!
   God willing, we'll sing again!
 
 
 
  Oct.3, 2023. Translated by me from my eponymous poem in Russian
 
 
  ***
 
  6.
 
  Tangles of words...
   Rhythms of the soul,
  alien to the Earth...
 
  This is Poetry,
   an orphan girl.
 
  Nobody needs her -
   she is thrown
  out
   from both her worlds,
   from both her family clans...
 
  Intricacies of words
   is your alcove.
 
  No suitors
   no
  loving hearts...
 
  And even if...
   it is too late...
 
  Only the End
   will raise you above Fate...
 
 
 
  November 24, 2024
 
 
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  7. T'is love
   that makes us tender
  And lack of love
   can harden up the heart...
 
 
  Dec. 9, 2024
 
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  8. Be tall and straight
   among the world of evil spirits...
  And kind and tender,
   loving and protective...
 
  Isn't it a challenge for the heart!
 
  But t'is the Aim,
   the End...
 
  And we shall leave
   leaving this world apart...
 
 
 
  Dec. 9, 2024
 
 
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  9 ;;;;;; 2024
 
 
 
  9. ROSES IN THE PARK
 
 
  How do they feel at night -
   Roses in the Park?
   They cannot cover themselves...
  Are they cold?
  Scared?
  I don't know...
  I wanted to spend the night in the German Cemetary -
  hiding,
   imitating
  Samtaurian Gabriel -
   to get rid of fear...
 
  But now,
  after two Covids
  and two Epstein-Barrs...
  my health is down...
  And such a night.
   will be the last one...
 
  Then I'll wait.
   Maybe I can recover...
 
  "Crazy," everydayers will say.
  It's not about us at all.
   I'm bored thinking about them,
  considering
   every day and hour of their down-to-earth life.
   But... These are their ways...
   Peace be with them.
 
 
  I think about the Delicate Roses
  in the flower bed
   shaped like a huge rosette
   in the Park Square...
 
  How do they feel at night?
 
   Aren't they cold?
  Aren't they scared?
 
  It's already autumn...
  what's going to happen to them?
  Will they be transplanted?
 
  But...
  they are not afraid
  living in the moment -
  here and now...
 
 
 
  September 3, 2023
 
 
  ***
 
 
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   3 ;;;;;; 2023
 
 
 
  ***
 
  10. The Snow is covering the trees
   and roofs of cars and houses,
   and grass roots
   that will sleep in the ground
   until Spring.
 
   Aren't they cold?
 
   How can they
   come to life again
   after a fierce, ominous winter!
 
   So are the souls of people -
   fall asleep in their Divine Sleep...
   But this is for us.
 
   And they continue their Unearthly Path
   Where is their Eternal Imperishable Fatherly Home...
 
 
   January 1, 2025
 
 
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  1 ;;;;; 2025
 
  ***
 
  11. A moment of beauty -
   the sparkling Sun
   on the rippled waters
   through
   the unusually
   elongated leaves
   of the unusually
   round trees.
 
  Another year has passed -
   a year of temptations,
   frustrations,
   success,
   betrayals,
   traveling,
   work
   and disease...
 
  There has been
   so much of everything,
   but I don't seem
   to have become
   a more perfect me.
 
  I think,
   everything
   has happened
   already.
 
  But that is not true.
 
  There will be more temptations,
   more frustrations,
   more success,
   more betrayals
   more traveling,
   work
   and disease.
 
  Plus horrors
   of the old age.
 
  And I don't seem
   to have the energy
   to become
   a more perfect me.
 
  But that is not true.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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  19 ;;;;;; 2006
 
 
  12. The First Impressions of Kara-Dag
 
 
 
  Oh, how it shook me for the first time -
   all these cliffs
   (with crevices,
   black flows of lava)
   hovering in the lofty skies,
 
   guttural seagulls' cries,
   fluffy flowers on the bushes
   and the rhythmic roar of the waves
   caressing the shore,
   licking the pebbles,
 
 
   little bays
   giving refuge to wild olives,
   gigantic stone sculptures
   up to their waists in the water
 
   and the non-extinguished spirit
   of the extinct Volcano...
 
   July 1, 2000
 
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  13. So life is
   what it is -
   with all its frustrations,
   betrayals.
   However,
   it's beautiful withall...
   And all the temptations
   are gone
   when cosy restaurants
   in a row
   go all along the
   the boulevards
   with trees and flowers
   stretching for yards and yards...
   And all the memories
   live only in the mind,
   the places do not have them anymore -
   they've changed themselves...
   And life seems beautiful,
   the people young
   and all the sufferings are gone
   when cosy restaurants
   in a row
   with trees and flowers
   stretching for yards and yards
   go all along the boulevards...
 
 
  June 2015
 
 
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  ***
 
 
  14. Pain can go...
  Remorse is worse...
 
 
  March, 2025
 
 
  15. Well, this is my life -
   nothing personal,
   but...
   lots to do,
   even more to think about.
 
 
   My day ends in a park,
   the wind is quite strong
   for the middle of May.
 
 
   The sportsmen in the football field
   are exercising.
 
 
   How could I have lived through all those years of mine?
   The years of hardship,
   disease,
   rare success
   and even more rare revelation...
 
 
   The effort was big,
   the feedback...
   maybe as big.
 
 
   Half a century
   was not enough
   to become so wise
   as to judge myself
   rightly and fairly.
   Shall I ever learn?
 
 
   My strange way gets stronger.
   I'm on the verge of a new stage.
 
 
   How could I get through
   this lonely way of mine!
 
 
   Must be the fate.
   Nobody cares,
   but I'm still going on...
 
 
 
   May 12, 2012
 
 
 
  ***
 
  16. From my KOKTEBEL DIARY 2000
 
  And at night - the lights,
   in the blackness of the water,
   in the velvet of the air -
  a perfect symmetry
   of self-reflecting worlds,
   self-reflecting elements...
 
   Likewise
   in my mind -
   invisible lights
   of self-reflecting spirits
   play
   leur jeu eternel...*
 
   _____________________________________________
  *(French) - their eternal game
 
 
 
   August 1, 2000
 
 
 
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   1 ;;;;; 2000
 
 
 
  ***
 
   17.
   "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand."
   Job 38:4
 
 
 
   When I'm asleep
   my previous memory is alive...
 
   I know what I mean -
   it's not the memory
   of my previous lives...
 
   I can remember things
   I had always known -
   long before I came to the Earth...
   when there was no Earth...
 
   I don't know what my spirit was
   when God was creating this world,
   but the memory is alive...,
   my previous memory...
 
 
 
   Nov.19, 2021
 
 
 
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  ***
 
 
  18. Give me
   tall pine trees,
  distant stars in the frosty sky
   and take away pictures of countries
  where you'll never be and have never been...
 
 
 
  November 21, 2019
 
 
 
  ***
 
 
 
  19. The naked sound
  of your old grand piano
  is piercing the heart of cloudy March...
  I want to go away and out - to the Oceans,
  into the depths of the Unknown Wild Lands
  where everything is different -
  the heart,
  the vision
  and the hearing...
  No need for earthly worries.
  And even your grand piano's groans
  and the starry sky's unprecedented map -
  a giant diamond spider -
  are unrecognizable,
  transformed
  by the Unheard of Harmony of the Universe...
 
 
  March 31, 1998
 
 
 
  ***
 
 
 
 
 
  20. It's cold. It's very cold.
  The islands are flooded...
  The trees are waist-deep in the water...
  They stand shivery, legs tucked in...
 
  Ducks and drakes glide smoothly
  on the mirror surface
  leaving patterns
  they don't know about...
 
  Neither do we...
  We don't know
  what we leave
  in people's hearts...
 
 
 
  May 12, 2025
 
 
   ***
 
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  21. I have my little happiness in the morning
   when I'm half awake
  and my Angel
   is writing His Poetry
  in my mind...
 
 
  May 14, 2025
 
 
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   ;; ;;;; ;;;;
 
 
 
 
 
  22. On the shore of the ocea
  I achieve tranquility...
  What do I want?
  To work, to pray, to create...
  And sometimes to go out
  to the shore of sand,
  sun
  and sparkle...
  And feel the Happiness of the Universe...
  Ocean... Heaven...
  Eternal life on Earth...
 
 
 
  June 29, 2022
 
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  23. O, my Lord!
   Even if all men go on doing their hackneyed business
   to lose the sense of beauty, the very ability to perceive it,
   even if there is no one in the world to admire your world
   (not even the children or the old)
   I will be the one.
   And I'll never get bored.
   The ripples on your tremulous waters,
   the blurred face of the Sun - upside down -
   looking like a Medieval oil painting
   on the mirror palms of the ponds,
   The cloud lambs or the lamb clouds
   living under the water
   in their funny herds
   And the long pensive thoughts of the trees
   reflected by the World
   open just for a few Chosen Ones.
 
  Oct.5-6 2005
 
 
  ***
 
  24.
 
  "He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap."
 
  Ecclesiastes 11:4
 
   "If I were a bear and a big bear too"
 
   Alexander Milne
 
 
   My "friends" used to boast
   brandishing their business
   in front of my nose,
  trying to show me my place...
   I don't have such "friedns" anymore -
   they are out of their depth with me.
   For I'm different,
  a creative race.
   I won't let them eat my core
  again.
 
   My business is chasing the shadows
   and watching the clouds
   and putting together the rhymes...
 
   I'll never reap or make wines.
   Making money in businesses is not my cup of tea,
   but my art works are travelling all over the world -
  for free.
 
  I have no sword or shield,
   but got an International Certi-
  ficate -
   The Knight of Creati-
   vity!
 
   There are only 6 such Certificates in the world...
 
   Ideas come from the air...
   I'm a lady of Nowhere...
 
   And if I were a bear
   I'd come to my scandalous neighbours
   and scoop them out of their sordid affair!)))
 
 
   July 8, 2024
 
 
   ***
 
 
   25. What am I living for?
 
 
 
   "The Earth is Art, The Photographer is only a Witness"
   Yann Arthus-Bertrand, Earth from Above
 
 
   What am I living for?
   Not to photograph shadows on the road...
   But I am
   photographing them...
 
 
 
   Translated from my Russian poem
 
 
 
  THE END OF PART V
 


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