Pride

God's hand was out,
I stood in doubt.
His voice a tide:
"When did you Pride?"

"I'm genius!" — I declared.
God's disgust and blame.
"I'll be the best!" — my oath.
He took it all for joke.

But talent was a gift from Him.
And muse, the spark within.
One path for me remained:
To purge it all — disdained.

And so I write, and write, and write,
No muse, no gift, no guide.
I never dared to reach this height,
My former self has died.

No help, no hand from God to hold,
Brilliant poems as stream unfold.
How stupid was my past delief*,
To think I needed Your relief.

God scans the worlds my will designed,
A beast, in chains of verse confined.
He knows my sun now shines —
I pray my portrait's shrine.




delief [d;;li;f] n.
/ неол. от delusion (заблуждение) + belief (вера) / вера-заблуждение
 

1. Состояние веры, являющейся фундаментальным заблуждением;
2. Прошлая парадигма сознания, признанная не только ложной, но и вредоносной.

Пример употребления:
«How stupid was my past delief, / To think I needed Your relief.»
(«Как глупа была моя прежняя вера-заблуждение, / Что мне нужно Твое облегчение.»)