I was always delusional

I was always delusional
Seeing ghosts became usual,
Walls were always listening to me,
I knew this is how it should be.

I smoke a phantom cigarette,
I talk to phantom you.
I am too tired even to fret,
That's the last thing I want to do.

I take off the glasses, close my eyes,
I don't see, but I hear, I hear the lies.
I close my ears and I feel
That leaving me is not a big deal.

I argue with my own thought
About it. But it's what I've got.
I have nobody to complain
About it. I have nobody to explain

What have I done wrong,
And where's the love that I belong...
I see you choosing better ways,
My mind is killing me, it says,

That I've mistaken, that I've lost.
I know what I've done, I know the cost
Of love, of once being chosen,
I wish my heart forever stayed closen...

I'd fill it with my own delusion.
What can I say in conclusion
Is that I admit I'm lost
In my own delusions. They're just glossed...

But real you are far away.
I realise I have nothing to say
When I understand I mean nothing to you,
This happening isn't new

For me and it will never be.
Sooner or later
Everyone betrayed me
And I will always be the hater...

Delusional hater lost in her dreams.
I'll never know what being regular means.
I hoped you'd love me if I'd try,
But I'm not a priority. I'm wondering why...

05.10.2025