Cheese and the Holy Spirit A Story from Ancient Ju

Cheese and the Holy Spirit: A Story from Ancient Judea
Cheese and the Holy Spirit: A History from Ancient Judea


"The Jews always choose one empire, and believe in it as a god..."

The Roman ambassador and Jude, lived in the temple. The worshippers believed that they
They pray to God, but the Vedas of God do not exist, and there is only a ruler
imperial power, who is "like a god on earth." So the province
does not completely lose autonomy. The ambassador's children are "children of God",
and when they were born, they were called "prophets." They were
saints, and they could not be touched. The ambassador had a secret name,
known only to the chief priest.

The ambassador named "I am gov", "I am the authorities", was an ideological bachelor,
He did not like women and never slept with them. Consequently,
He had no children. And then, one leftist gave him "help",
and persuaded his daughter, named "Revolution", to seduce him.
And she began to try to seduce him, and then he came out of his
temple, and in a small grove, he was fighting, and went back. She picked
up his sperm, and impregnated herself, being a virgin. A son was born,
But her dad was afraid to tell the authorities that they had given birth to a son directly from
"God", then he would be called a prophet, and no one would touch him, and rishil
To avoid punishment, to remain silent. Perhaps he was born against "God's will",
And so he was circumcised, like all the Jews, and was proclaimed
as an ordinary illegitimate child. And then, he began to rebel against the authorities,
and said that the country prays to the "Lying God", but there is a "real God",
and only he prescribes the future. The power of Judea, thought that he
And he shall quarrel with Rome, and shall baptize them, as he is on the
cross found out the name of the father of the illegitimate, and so it will be possible to
to catch, to throw stones and to put an end to this "rebel".
So they demanded of the Roman governor, Pilate. And so, Jesus
(who would like to be a horse) was set on a cross.
His name, as it turned out, was "I was a", and the soldiers as soon
as They understood this, they immediately predicted the only possible future:
the collapse of Eudea. At this time, the ambassador (not a donkey) was at a meeting with Pilate,
and said: "Something is attacking me, who is on the cross?" - "One of the
illegitimate, named Nazaretti," Pilate answered. "Tell them to release him,"
said the ambassador, and the soldiers took him down from the cross and said, "Go away and come no more."
"I am relieved," said the Ambassador, "but I do not want any more prayers from this province,
As you can see, they bless and curse me, and I want to sweeten my poison."
"Tell them to install statues in the temple, for it is clear to everyone that God is a man,
and no one prays to lifeless stones."
When the Jews saw the statues, they said, "What? statues in the temple? Let there be war! Romans
They do not want our prayers, Vedas, and it is clear to the goat that God is not a statue. "Let's
Let us be the first to start the war," cried the Jews, "and then, perhaps, something will change,"
And they attacked a small company stationed with the holy city. Pilate and the ambassador of Ya-gov,
for the time being, they washed away by sea back to Rome. Jesus met with the disciples, and said, "Guys,
I am by nature the son of God, and he saved me from the cross, but the deceitful government of
Judah I can still get caught, and I won't walk around the country again."
The disciples said, "What? Are you the son of a god and the rishil, will he wash us away? We'll write a book about you."
And Jesus went to dwell in a distant city, and the disciples went north, and afterwards
met with the king of the Byzantine Empire, and gave him their book to read,
New Testament. He read it, and said that there seems to be a lot of truth in the book, and if
as it seems to Rome to seize Judea, he will take the book as a "mitology," but the most
The important thing is that the ambassador Ya-gov does not know peace, and does not sleep at night, and the reason
A big mystery. "I am going to Rome," said the King, "perhaps what you have said
can solve this riddle. Meeting with the ambassador, he told him: "The answer is as follows:
thou didst begat a son in Judea, and they baptized him.." "It can't be," the ambassador replied, "I
a virgin, and has never slept with a single woman... only jerked off"..."Remember well",
said the Byzantine king, "maybe you jerked off in the street, children are born from jerking off"...
And suddenly the ambassador remembered. "Yes," he said, "there was such a case, I went out of the church and was
fighting because I was very excited... And that some Eudean found my sperm (holy spirit)
and gave birth to a son?! And then they baptized him?! Immediately gather a legion, and capture
and bring me my son... And by the way, to be on a donkey, because I was excited
like an ass when he was jerking off then!!!" And the legion captured Judea. We found Jesus, in one of the
villages, and said: "You, son of God, your father Ya-gov wants to meet you...
Get on the donkey and follow us.." The ambassador was already old, and in his
98 years old finally met his son, who was 67. He said: "You, I'm talking about you
I've been dreaming all my life. I gave birth to you when I was very excited. like a donkey, and consequently
You're like a donkey to me... And I have sons who were born during sex,
they're like pony horses..." And Jesus went to meet his brothers, the "horses"...