2. The Book of Knowledge. 2. 4. Woland

The BOOK of KNOWLEDGE,
a novel by Alexandra Kryuchkova
in the “PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY” series

PART 2. ANOTHER REALITY

Day No. 2

CHAPTER 2.4. WOLAND

He came down on me like a thunderclap. He called me in the morning. He spoke quickly, but clearly, shaping every word. I hardly heard his words. I already knew who he was. “That doesn’t happen!” flashed in my mind. After all, just last night a woman had called me saying that…

“I found your CV in the archive. I have been looking for you for four hours. I want us to meet. I need you. You have brilliant data. I need a person like you. When can we meet? I am ready to wait for you in the evening until you arrive. So?”

I was sitting opposite by the window. He was all in white. I was in purple. How old was he? So tall and devilishly handsome. The buttons of his shirt were boldly undone. I had my hair loose. It was very hot outside. It had never been so hot in summer.

He was smoking. One after another. He was nervous, but didn’t show it. Neither did I.

He was talking incessantly. Fast, clear, commanding. Not letting me say a word. As if he already had known everything about me. With the voice of a man. Sharp as a knife. Tolerant of no objection. He was categorical in his statements. He looked at me piercing. Point blank. Scaring me. I looked at him in my own way, too. I saw his chakras, the lower three. They were gushing with energy, like my top three. We were two triangles, different ones. I missed what he had in abundance. He didn’t have the energy that I had. His energy pierced me through. His inner strength overwhelmed me in waves. I realized that he was stronger and smarter than me. Much stronger. In another. In what I was weak. I thought about what would come afterwards.

“I need you,” he said, summing up.

I couldn’t say a word. He offered to show me his possessions. We went somewhere. He gallantly opened all doors for me. Those were his doors, earthly ones, which were closed to me. At that time. They were very beautiful. We went down to the basement in his Palace. He showed me each of the halls. I realized I had seen that before. There, in Another Reality. In a dream. I had been shown him, as well as his palace and those luxurious halls. Deja vu.

“So, Margaret? Do you agree?” he asked with a smile.

I wanted to run away. I was scared. He was the one I needed. I wanted to be with him. I was drawn to him like a wave to rocks. In order to crash… I couldn’t say a word being mesmerized by his Terrible Power.

“I see. You need to think. Call me then.”

I called in a couple of days and said that I agreed. It was absolutely irrational. There was no reason to say yes to him. On the contrary, there were hundreds of reasons to say no. But I couldn’t, I didn’t want to say no to him.

“But I’m leaving in a month for a week…”

“Okay, Margaret. I’ll call you back.”

I was waiting for his call. Probably, I had never in my life waited for anything as much as I waited for his call then. But he didn’t call. And every day something in me resisted more and more, constantly and persistently scrolling through all those against from being with him. Until one day, about a month later, I finally gave up. That evening he called me, “So…? Have you already landed after your flights?”

“Where did you disappear then?” I said calmly, but not without a taste of inner bitterness.

“I was flying like you … So, when?”

I was silent. Two opposing Forces were tearing me apart.

“Okay, I see. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

I was scared to call him. I didn’t know how to explain what was happening to me. I sent him a message. From the point of view of the Earthly Reality, I listed all my cons. In conclusion, I added a link to a poem I had written to him. There was that irrational feeling of inexplicable attraction there. He disappeared, just as he had appeared.

Six months passed. On the eve of the first of January, I sent everyone who was in my phone contacts, congratulations on the New Year. And suddenly I remembered him. I shouldn’t have sent it to him. What for? Was it possible to step into the same river twice? At the same time, the circumstances of the Earthly Reality changed, and the horizontal line I had been on until that moment suddenly became vertical. He called on the first day of the New Year, asking me my favorite question, to which I still didn’t know the answer, and explaining that he had got some problems with his phone, so almost all contacts had been lost.

“Who you are?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I guess.”

“You wished me a Happy New Year. I’m very pleased. I wish it to you, too. So what’s your name?”

“Margaret.”

“Something very familiar. Where did we meet?”

I didn’t want to remind him of myself. But he was very insistent.

“You made me an offer…”

“So why aren’t we together?”


“I understand. You can’t talk now. May I call you later?”

“I’m leaving…”

“Me too… When are you back?”

I told him the return date, not hoping that he would call me back. He called back before my return. I was then somewhere in the mountains on the border between …

“Well, Margaret, call me when you are back. I remember you.”

I came back and had to call him, unable to dial his number being scared. However, he called me himself.

“So when do we meet?”

I was sitting opposite by the window. He was all in white. I was in purple. How old was he? So tall and devilishly handsome. It was very cold outside. I tried to warm my hands, I had talked on the phone while walking to his Palace from the metro. I wanted him to sit next to me and warm me up. He suggested switching to talk informally. I nodded. He was smoking. One after another. He was nervous, but didn’t show it. Neither did I. He was talking incessantly. Fast, clear, commanding. Not letting me say a word. With the voice of a man. Sharp as a knife. Tolerant of no objection. I got scared. He was categorical in his statements. I wanted him to shut up. To stop spouting all that nonsense. He looked at me piercing. Point blank. So everything inside of me shrank. I looked at him in my own way. I saw his aura. Amazing. I had never met a person like that. His chakras, the lower three. They were gushing with energy, just like my top three. We were two triangles, different ones. I missed what he had in abundance. He didn’t have the energy that I had. His energy pierced me through. His inner strength overwhelmed me in waves. I knew that he was stronger and smarter than me. Much stronger. In another. In what I was weak. I thought about what would come afterwards, being scared.

“I need you,” he said, summing up.

I couldn’t utter a word. I needed him. For some reason. I would have to go through something with him. It didn’t happen for nothing that repeated twice. Maybe I was wrong. But I was drawn to him. Like a wave to the rocks. In order to crash… I wanted to be with him. I missed his strength so much. Nearby.

“Okay, you need time to think,” he concluded.

I was walking to the subway, torn between my two Selves, and didn’t know what to do. I understood, everything he offered me, these joint flights in dreams and in reality, and all he needed as job, I knew and could do well, it was interesting by itself. And because I liked him. I was drawn to him. Inexplicable. Irrational. He was the man who should be nearby. The man I had been looking for, for so long. He could bring me back to the time when I had been happy, when Brother and Ray had been around.

That time I should say yes, so I dialed him.

“Hello, Margaret. I’ll call you back a little later, okay?”

He called back in half an hour. I wanted to say yes.

“Hello, Mister Woland,” I said, addressing him as Mister just because I was scared. It was hard for me to say “Woland” to him.

He instantly changed intonation and addressed me to as “Miss”. His voice cut me without a knife. He was cold, impassive, cynical.

“So what’s your decision?”

Something inside me shrank, clenched. I wasn’t able to say yes. I would say it later. A terrible, unbearable pause. I wanted him to speak. But he was silent. Because he had already told me everything. He wanted it to be my decision. I forced myself to speak. I asked the first thing that had come to mind, “Why me?”

He started talking, but I couldn’t hear his words anymore. I wanted to scream, “Shut up! Please say that you just want me somewhere nearby. And I will be there. With you…” But he kept talking. Fast, clear, commanding. Without letting me say a word. His voice was the voice of a Man that didn’t tolerate any objections. I was scared. He was too categorical in his statements. It was time to say yes to him and…

…and I couldn’t say yes!!! Some part of me screamed, “Alice! Stop! You are driving yourself into a corner you can’t get out of! You are free as a bird. You have Time, which you can use as you wish. And you need to finish the book about Another Reality. He will take your time. He will open all the Doors to the Earthly Reality for you, blocking access to the Other. You won’t be able to write anymore. And you need also the money that you earn now. And much more than he offers. You want to say yes just because you see him as a Man. But do you see what kind of man he is? He is a wolf, strong and smart. You became a she-wolf, too, as well strong and smart. Are you sure that you can be what he wants you to be? Constantly giving in to him in everything? Sacrificing yourself? Sharing his principles? You are too accustomed to be yourself, the way you are. Aren’t you? And you are different. You live simultaneously in Both Realities. In Another Reality, you are a small, fragile and too vulnerable girl. This Man, what does he know about you? He obviously lives only Earthly. Who did he paint you in his imagination? Can he understand and accept you for who you are? You need to be whole so that he understands and loves you. You don’t know him at all. And if it doesn’t happen? Then you will lose everything at once. You will lose yourself. Half a step to the left, half a step to the right, and he will kill you. He will kill you, Alice. Have you already forgotten the pain you went through? Can you die again? How many times have you died already? How many lives have you already lived? Will you find the strength to resurrect again?”

“I can’t talk anymore,” he said. “If any clever thought comes to your mind, call me.”

I left abroad and returned on Friday. The circumstances of the Earthly Reality changed again. The vertical line was approaching the horizontal one. I got together with my Spirit to dial his number. I called to tell him no. He didn’t pick up the phone.

Another week passed. He didn’t call. Neither did I. It resolved itself. No so no. However, on the windowsill, there were three books that I had signed for him a long time ago, but for some reason I hadn’t dared to give him. Every unfinished action must be completed. I didn’t want to meet him. He had already told me everything by his silence. So I decided to take the books on Saturday and pass them to him through the guard. The day before I had written him a laconic letter, there was nothing but an inexplicable feeling of attraction and my subconscious rationalism. I wanted him to understand how much I wanted to be with him, and to destroy the wall of my fear, being stronger than me. If … What would I lose after his silent no? I put the letter in the bag with the books.

After a good night sleep, I went to his Palace around lunchtime. Approaching the Palace, I felt more and more strongly that he was inside there. I could have turned around and driven back. But I was drawn to him. Inexplicable. Irrational. Like a wave to the rocks. In order to crash…

I climbed the steps, opened the door, and, trying to maintain outward calm, greeted the guard.

“He’s just arrived. How should I introduce you?”

“Margaret…”

I opened his door. He was sitting at a table by the window. He looked at me and barely suppressed his devilish laughter.

“I brought you a gift.”

“Books?

I nodded, put my gift on his table and sat down across from him.

“I just got back. I was flying a bit. Well, what’s your decision?”

He was sitting opposite, all in white, tall and devilishly handsome. Devilishly… And I exhaled,

“I don’t want to tell you no and I can’t say yes.”

He looked at me, piercing with his gaze and energy. I wanted to be with him. I was drawn to him.

“Because you need free time?”

“And time… And money…”

I knew he had read my poems. But I was talking nonsense. The very one that was given to me by my rational Subconscious. That part of me didn’t want me to experience pain again. It was protecting me.

“I get it,” he said with a smile.

“Well… I’ll go…”

I opened the Door with my left hand as he held out his right hand to me in farewell. I touched his fingers and… He turned me around to face him. He put my hands on his shoulders. I closed my eyes. My Wolfish-Self reached out to him. It wanted that earthly love madly. While my other Self, the Girl, immediately screamed, “He will kill me!!!” … And I quietly squeezed out,

“No, not now, don’t…”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Someone inside me was shouting to him, “Please, do something! Bang your fist on the table! Say you just want me to stay!”

My Wolfish-Self howled plaintively. The Girl approached the she-wolf, gently stroked and called it to follow her out.