It seems to me that I know how to fly

A pulsing, overwhelming, dreadful pain,
I want to wipe it out, delete, erase.
But to my feelings, access is in vain,
And so I must endure it in this place.

I am not dead, but I no longer live,
Because you cannot call this life at all.
My soul is howling, has no tears to give,
But oh, I want to scream and heed the call!

I stared into the grey and empty void,
And now it has begun to stare at me.
It opened up its cloak, a dark alloyed,
And wants my very essence not to be.

It seems to me that I know how to fly,
When standing on the edge, so high above.
And with a scream, I want to pierce the sky,
To overcome the winds that push and shove.

It seems to me that I know how to fly,
When over the abyss I close my eyes.
I don't give up, but have no strength to try,
Surviving in a world of painted lies.

I do not want to fight this world's cruel game,
I don't desire to become a part.
Everything here feels alien, feels lame,
And so from this strange world, I will depart.

But I don't step into the empty space!
I spread my wings and soar into the height!
I see the system's bare and naked face,
I read it all, but don't partake in its light…