summer heat

18+


I sit in the passenger seat like in a life that isn't mine, borrowed on false credentials.
You're driving. One hand slack on the wheel, the other toying with the gum in your mouth chewing slowly, lips parted just enough to show your teeth. You’re not even aware of yourself, and that’s what kills me. That blind, unconscious beauty. That lazy, golden rhythm you move in.

The sun has found you completely. It kisses your forearms, lingers on the curve of your neck, scatters gold through your hair. You're radiant. No. Worse – you're luminescent in that unconscious way the young sometimes are, burning without even knowing it.

I say your name.

You glance over, lashes catching the light.

“What?”

I shake my head slowly.

“Nothing.”

But I keep looking.

“You’re giving me THAT look again.”

I grin.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

You smile, then turn your gaze back to the road.

I want to bite the edge of your smile, just to see if it would bruise.

You’ve hijacked the music again. Apparently my playlist was criminal. Now there’s something pulsing through the speakers with too much bass and a voice full of longing. You’re humming. Badly. I want to kiss your throat just to shut you up.

You’re so close.

Your knee almost touching mine.

The hem of your shorts riding higher on your thigh.

Your hand resting there, loose and casual. And I want it. On my stomach, on my chest… In… my mouth.

I want your fingers between my lips, slow. I want to close my teeth around your knuckles, gently, just to see what you’d do.

I close my eyes. And I see last night.

That hush that only exists after midnight.

You moved through the room like you already lived there. Undressing not for seduction but out of comfort. Shirt pulled over your head in one easy motion, socks peeled off with one foot against the other.

“You want this?” I asked.
You nodded.

“Say it.”
“I want you to f… me.”

You let me touch you. Kiss your shoulders, your throat, your chest. Your breath caught and deepened as I moved lower…

…

You let me worship you. Not like a lover but like someone grateful just to be allowed close.

And afterward… you asleep beside me, limbs tangled in the sheets, one hand curled near your mouth, your spine curved toward mine. Breathing deep. Steady and unbothered.

You gave me your body. So completely it almost felt like love. But it wasn’t.

You’re so young.

And me... much older. Old enough to know exactly what this is. And what it isn’t.

You’re a fever. You’re summer heat in my skull. You’re joy I was never supposed to taste again.

And I won’t keep you.

Soon you’ll vanish, the way sunlight leaves a room when the door closes.

But for now we’re still driving. Your leg brushes mine. Your gum pops softly between your teeth.
Your scent is still on me – on my fingers, on my lips… Everywhere…

And I look at you.
Because I can’t stop.
Because I won’t stop.
Because the looking is all I have left.

And it hurts
beautifully.