Cycle of absurdity

How to find a way out
From endless cycle of suffering
Life is just my OCD like
Obsession-compulsion-repeat

For what I born was?
For what I’m living now?
There is no point in this.
Anyway, I’m going to die.

But why was I born specifically,
Specifically there and specifically then?
I doubt it was by chance,
Even though I don't believe in fate.

It’s all seems strange to me.
Maybe, a special purpose I have?
Or why they sent me here?
To this surface of pain.

It doesn’t matter that we are born,
It doesn’t matter that we are dying,
But matters is what's in between,
I will live by the fate defying.

Day-night, day-night.
I can’t defeat the flow of time.
Life is through the void flight,
But to miss it is a crime.

Winter turns into summer,
But I don't feel joy from it.
I’m getting ready to again suffer,
I don’t want to myself cheat.

Who and why created this?
God doesn’t exist, it’s fake.
We are alone with our problems.
Let's the old ideals break.