New parents in da house rap

Intro: Ay yo, to all the hot mamas out there.
You rock, ladies!

Verse 1:

Solid starts mastered, so let me start solid.
Don’t trust no Karen sayin’ motherhood’s horrid.
Traded board meetings for the midnight colic,
High off oxytocin - the new narcotic.
Rocking my LV bag full of diapers.
Fellow office sirens - just a bunch of vipers.
C-section bitch, my pussy intact,
Still got that grip - ask my man for facts.

CHORUS

New parents in da house - house on fire,
Pacifier plug when the stress gets dire.
Postpartum curvy - still a hot mama.
Mindful parentin’ - we don’t do drama.

Verse 2:

Ay yo, straight A’s to empty wallet (oops!),
Therapy couch - we ballin’ on it.
Hubby midlife-crisin’, I’m poetic licensin’,
Cute baby giggles as she puts her two cents in.
Birthed a lil’ baby
Like pro-life, I’m prolific.
I like my man drownin’ in my South Pacific.
Baby fast asleep - let’s do it real quick.
Pro with all things mic-shaped, lemme show you tricks.

Chorus:

New parents in da house - house on fire,
Pacifier plug when the stress gets dire.
Postpartum curvy - still a hot mama.
Mindful parentin’ - we don’t do drama.

Verse 3:

Mary had a little lamb - I want that Lambo,
Flex at daycare pickup - that’s my MO.
Baby’s name Greek, like them Ivy League halls,
Right now she droolin’, but one day she’ll ball.
One day I’ll have my corporate rebound,
Hail to the queen - mama’s back in town.
C-section scars to the C-suite - POOF!
Cuz I deliver - baby’s living proof.

Chorus:

New parents in da house - house on fire,
Pacifier plug when the stress gets dire.
Postpartum curvy - still a hot mama.
Mindful parentin’ - we don’t do drama.

Outro: Man, we don’t do drama.