X. Fortune

The cornerstone of all I've built
Lies deep within the rubble
A stepping stone in sea of guilt
To let you cross in peace
It always hurts as needles pierce your skin
When you crawl out of your bubble
But then you throw yourself right at the thickest pin
Barely navigating in debris
Release
Yes please

Everything I'm not
Everything I'll never be
Wars ignored and fought
Dissonance and harmony
Consequence of sin
Opulence of melody
All that lies within
Is the outside of me

I'm locking eyes with hungry ghosts
Pretending to be human
A fun affair at modest cost
Of losing my own soul
It's only right if you are bleeding out
And sacred temple left in ruin
So take a deep breath now and cast away all doubt
Sinking deeper into glaring hole
Control
Let's roll

And you're not the only one
My shadowy counterpart
Existing to come undone
Forgotten by mind and heart

There were many of you
Whom I longed for and trusted
And then out of the blue
All your crowns have been rusted
Out in a whimsical fling of fate

Well, the kitty has turned into lioness now.
And I've stopped to smell the roses.
I still cherish the thought that my face was the prettiest one you've ever seen.
It's a treasure that my first kiss happened under the bright summer moon.
I'm on the stage now, just as you wanted me to be.
Yes, indeed, this burden is heavy. I'm happy you're out of my life.

But the wheel keeps on turning
And this dangerous yearning
To explore world is always the same
Don't you wreathe me with laurel
For my bouts of withdrawal
Are the only thing keeping me sane
There are many a summit
To conquer and plummet
Down to the bottom of hell
You thought you knew me well.
I thought I knew you. Well...
All I actually saw was confinement of my prison cell.
Still it's just human nature to reach out to others and yell

Who are you?
Where are you going?
Why won't you answer me?

Everything I'm not
Everything I'll never be
Wars ignored and fought
Deference and irony
Just another spin
I will ride out endlessly
All that lies within
Is the outside of me, is you

April 29, 2025