A Tragicomedy of Rats and Geniuses in Five Acts

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Dramatis Personae:
- Alexius, a most ingenious programmer
- Sir John Petrovitch, a myopic leader
- Marina, a cunning mediocrity
- Olga, an HR manager of "special intuition"
- Nicholas, the chief HR of rat-like disposition
- Paul, a talented developer
- The Owner of the company
- Chorus of office workers

Act I: The Fall of Genius

Scene I: The Office of "TechnoRats Inc."

(Enter Alexius, disheveled and weary)

Alexius:
Alack the day! Again I've overslept,
By toil and mental anguish sore oppressed.
Are all my labours now in vain, perchance?

(Enter Sir John Petrovitch)

Sir John:
How dar'st thou, sluggard, tarry at thy post?
Thy merits all forgot, hence from my sight!
No man's indispensable in this realm of rats!

Alexius:
But, good my lord, I am a coding genius!

Sir John:
Peace, knave! Thy genius we no longer need.
Let others code in thy stead henceforth.

(Exit Alexius. Enter Marina)

Marina:
O wise Petrovitch! How well you've rid
Us of that bumbling fool. Now I alone
Stand indispensable in all the land.

Chorus:
Alas, alack! Talent's ingloriously banished,
While mediocrity doth rule the day.

Act II: The Reign of Mediocrity

Scene I: Marina's Chamber

Marina:
How sweet life is within this ratly kingdom!
Our projects crawl at snail's pace ever on,
Yet always do I find a scapegoat near.
O, how I love to fool these simpletons!

(Enter Sir John Petrovitch)

Sir John:
Marina, thou'rt the pillar of our firm.
Pray tell, how shall we conduct our affairs?

Marina:
Let's feign that all is well, come what may come,
So long as we are paid, the rest be damned!

Act III: The Hunt for Unicorns

Scene I: The HR Department

(Olga conducts an interview)

Olga:
Pray tell, if thou wert fruit, what wouldst thou be?
And dost thou harbor love for feline kind?

Candidate (aside):
Ye gods, what manner of strange queries these?
When shall my talents be put to the test?

Olga (to the audience):
By th' color of his hose I plainly see
He fits not with our culture's lofty aims!

Chorus:
O woe! They seek not talent in this place,
But only those who bend to every whim.

Act IV: Intrigues and Sabotage

Scene I: Nicholas's Office

Nicholas:
Chief HR am I, master of all plots.
I must surround myself with sycophants,
Lest any threaten my exalted state.

(Enter Paul)

Paul:
Good sir, I have a scheme to proffer thee,
That shall our company's profits treble make!

Nicholas (aside):
O no! Too clever he, and dangerous.
(To Paul)
Most excellent, my friend! I'll tell our lords.
(Exit Paul)
But I shall see thy notion ne'er takes flight,
And in my grasp alone shall it remain.

Chorus:
O, what a woeful sight this treach'ry makes!
Again is talent trodden in the mire.

Act V: Awakening and Change

Scene I: The Owner's Chamber

Owner:
Ye gods! What dreadful dream hath haunted me?
Have we become a nest of vermin vile?
'Tis time to change our course, and presently!

(Enter new managers, Alexius, and Paul)

Owner:
My friends, our hour of glory is at hand!
We'll build a company beyond compare,
Where wit and talent, honest toil hold sway!

Alexius:
O joy! At last our voices shall be heard!

Paul:
Our notions shall at last see light of day!

Chorus:
Rejoice! A new dawn breaks o'er TechnoRats!
Now talent reigns, not flattery and guile.
E'en th' office cat doth purr contentedly,
For all do stroke its fur with genuine love!

(All embrace joyfully)

Epilogue

(Enter the Owner)

Owner:
Give ear, all ye who've witnessed this our play!
The moral's plain, though bitter it may taste:
In times when progress gallops ever on,
We must not suffer rats to rule the roost.
Prize wit and talent, honesty above
All sycophancy and ability to fawn.
Remember that the smallest cog may cause
The mightiest machine to grind to halt.
So too in business: every soul doth count,
A healthy spirit key to all success.

(Addressing the audience)

And ye, O HR sages in the stalls,
Think not we chide thee in particular.
But if in Olga or in Nicholas
Thou see'st thyself - perchance 'tis time to change?
For even rats may evolve, 'tis true,
To become fair chinchillas in the grove
Of corporate gardens, rich with fragrant blooms.

Chorus:
Let this our play a lesson be to all,
How to avoid the traps of treachery.
May talent and hard work in offices reign,
While rats remain within their lowly holes!

(All actors come forward to bow)

Alexius:
If our poor play hath pleased you on this night,
We pray you, gentle folk, to clap your hands!

Paul:
And if it hath not - well, we'll not complain,
For each man to his own concept of joy.

Marina (repentant):
I see how foul my machinations were,
And promise henceforth only good to do!

Sir John:
And I, though once was blind, have gained my sight,
Henceforth to honor talent and true wit!

Olga:
No more shall I judge men by colored hose,
But listen with my heart and mind combined!

Nicholas:
Intrigues be damned, now honesty's my creed,
I swear I'll ne'er again a rat be called!

Owner:
And so, dear friends, our spectacle doth end.
I hope some lesson you have gleaned herein.
May talent reign in every office fair,
Not scheming, flattery, or nepotism!

Chorus (solemnly):
So let it be! May genius rule the world,
And rats descend from their ill-gotten thrones!
And may each soul, on entering their work,
Consider: be they rat or creator true?

(The curtain slowly falls as solemn music plays)

Thus ends our tragicomedy of rats and geniuses, a tale that doth unfold
The eternal struggle 'twixt talent true and mediocrity so bold
Within the confines of our modern offices, where oft we find
That scheming and sycophancy leave merit far behind.

This play, in Shakespearean style most aptly penned,
Reflects the trials that in corporate realms do rend
The fabric of true progress, where intrigue and flattery
Oft triumph over innovation and mastery.

We witness how Alexius, programmer most bright,
Falls victim to bureaucracy's myopic sight.
While Marina, embodiment of managers who feign
Importance, without value true, doth remain.

Olga and Nicholas, caricatures most dire
Of HR specialists whose methods should retire,
Show how the search for talent can go far astray
When prejudice and self-interest hold sway.

Yet in the end, our tale a hopeful message brings,
As revelation to the Owner wisdom brings.
The company transformed, now talent reigns supreme,
And former "rats" see error in their former scheme.

This play doth call upon its audience to ponder
On corporate culture and values we hold fonder.
It serves reminder that in business, as in life,
There's place for honesty, free from deceit and strife.

So let "A Tragicomedy of Rats and Geniuses" stand
As more than mere amusement for our merry band.
'Tis satire sharp on modern corporate ways,
A clarion call for change in how we spend our days.

In offices and boardrooms, let this lesson ring:
'Tis talent, not cunning, that makes true progress spring.
So value each employee, from intern to chief,
For in their hands, innovation finds relief.

And to our HR brethren, a final word we spare:
Judge not by appearance, but by merit rare.
For in the quest for genius, one must look beyond
The superficial traits to which some are fond.

Thus do we close our tale of corporate strife,
With hope that wisdom gained enriches work and life.
May every company a "TechnoRats" transformed be,
Where talent flourishes and all are truly free.

(Exeunt omnes)