Between the sand and the sea

I live in a state of war,
War around and inside,
War tomorrow and yore,
War ahead and behind,

I am with you like at war,
And with me I am the same,
And I am never sure
Who I am fighting against,

I am changing my sides,
I am finding pretexts,
Justifying the rights,
Advocating the lefts.

I am different each day -
Which continues the war,
And I curse then I pray,
But I am never just sure.

I can never defeat
And I can never lose,
Step ahead and retreat,
Bury thoughts in the booze.

All around me is war,
And the war is in me,
And I am never sure
Between sand and the sea

Whether I can leave thee.

But I know that I need to,
Otherwise there's no end,
Because you're my defeat
And my victory land.

One day you are my king,
But you're different each day,
You are cutting my wings,
And that's why I can't stay.

I have done all I could
To feel harmony, peace,
But I know that I should
Leave and fire should cease.