I Wouldn t Ever Know

Is there a meaning in my life, in my sighs, in my heartbeats, in my solitude?
I wouldn’t ever know, until one day You’d come to me, commonly dressed but so elegantly,
and sat with noble posture on the chair near the table in our lovely room,
and you’d smiled at me.

You see: I wouldn’t ever know, until one day you’d come to me into our lovely room
and you’d smiled at me!…

There were some piles of the children’s clothes neatly folded
and the flame was blinking in the fireplace,
and then you’ve said so simply and so clear just a phrase, that simple line,
and you were gone!…

“You know, we have to write” — you’ve said,
and your eyes sent to my eyes this enigmatic glance:
“We have to write letters to our past” —
and at those words I felt my heart flooding with tears,
while my tongue struggled to speak to you of a dozen reasons,
really pointless — how couldn’t I see!…

“You know, we have to write letters to our past” —
and at those words I felt my heart flooding with tears!…

The red starry dusk flowed into our room through the window,
mixing objects around me with the knitting of trees
and suddenly — I felt that in my heart — your warmth, you sacred presence
more than ever before!…

And since that moment I knew so well what each line,
every phrase of song would be sung about:
I wouldn’t ever know, until one day you’d come to me, commonly dressed, but so elegantly
and sat with noble posture on the chair near the table in our lovely room
and you smiled at me!…

If not, I wouldn’t ever know that all my songs, all of their lines, every single sound
will be sung about you!…


                January ‘1999