Confession of a Ghost. 40. 1. The Matrix

“CONFESSION of a GHOST”
a novel by Alexandra Kryuchkova
in the “PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY” series


1 BEFORE/40 AFTER. ON THE BORDER

*****The MATRIX*****

***
Somewhere in the Universe


On the way to the Heavenly Office, the Guardian told me about the Matrix of the Space of Time, explained how to apply Solar year to the Natal chart, to see directions and progressions, to track Transits.

“Why does the soul forget after the incarnation everything shown here?”

“Knowledge is one of the biggest temptations, it’s not for nothing that they say on Earth, the less you know, the better you sleep. Who likes to feel pain? Imagine what would have happened on Earth if everyone had known where he would have to face pain.”

“They would have tried to avoid it.”

“They would have moved in Space, changing their Destiny, and at the same time the destinies of their nearest and dearest ones. And then, Rukh, in the Matrix, which connects everything and everyone on Earth with invisible threads, there would have been such failure that the planet would have instantly plunged into the chaos of Darkness. Every soul descends to Earth not just to take a walk, but to serve the world and God, to fulfill the predestination. It’s no coincidence that astrology is forbidden by the church authorities.”

“Haven’t astrologers existed since time immemorial?”

“There are those to whom it is given.”

“Given as a temptation by knowledge?”

“Right. Though, many of those who are not given, try to deal with the stars too. Imagine everyone rushing to ask the false astrologers about destiny! Besides, each Sphere of Life in the Labyrinth of Destiny has almost always several options for the development of events, to predict exactly is to point your finger at the Sky. Knowledge of the Future can take away the last hope or reassure so that a person relaxes and stops halfway. By rewriting the program codes of a separate fragment of the Matrix, you break the chains of cause-and-effect relations, destroy the Future. Moreover, you can get into not just someone else’s, but a deadly scenario. Every soul has to make decisions independently within its own Labyrinth and be responsible for them in the Court. If astrology is declared an official science, who will be asked for the passage of the Path?”

“However, my Labyrinth is too rigidly predetermined.”

“The main direction of development is predetermined, tasks are set in the proper Spheres, fateful moments that cannot be avoided are prescribed, the dates of the plan-fact analysis checking points are fixed, one of them may become the last day on Earth. The rest is up to the choice of the soul. For example, to develop your talents or not, to do something good for someone who cannot repay you, or to pass by. It’s important the way a person reacts to what happens, what Forces – of Light or Darkness – one’s soul will eventually lean to. Having remembered our dialogues on the Stairs, you’ll read your stars. You’ll get convinced that the Matrix of Destiny is not someone’s fantasy, but reality. You’ll calm down, realizing that you would have never been able to change the predestined in Tablets. You’ll look at your destiny in a different way and gain humility. It’s more difficult to believe in God without any evidence and to accept everything with gratitude, but it’s more appreciated in the Court.”

We entered the Passport Office, the Guardian handed my heavenly passport to the winged officer, who asked his standard question before putting the appropriate stamp and sealing the document,

“Has the briefing been made? If so, sign right there!”

“Yes,” I nodded, putting my astral squiggle.

“Why are you so sad? You’ll hardly have time to remember it all, and you are back home!” the winged one winked at me, putting a stamp and sealing the passport. “Bon voyage, Rukh!”

I sighed as I looked at Earth out of the window.

“You still have time to go to the Library, Rukh!”

“That story was the last one!”

“What about the Preface?”


***
Library of the Universe


“I don’t know anything about you… Or rather, I want to forget everything I know, because I don’t want to know anything. You don’t know anything about me. You only think you know, but it’s an illusion. Even if you read all my stories, they’re only a tenth of what I’ve been through, and it’s twisted distorted beyond recognition. Those who have known me for many, many years admit to know nothing about me. There are hundreds of faces and roles in me, each one so unlike any other. They say I am like the Ocean, watched by people only by the shore or from above, since few swim far, and almost no one sinks to the very bottom. Can’t the same be said about you? And about every person in the Universe? You want to know if I am black or white. In this world, there is no, was not and will never be Black separately from White. I am white and black at the same time, as well as you are. You want to know if I am strong or weak. Everything is relative! I could tell you about the Past, the Present and the Future, what Life and Death are, what true Love means, how I had gone There and returned here. I could show you how to move heavy objects without even lifting a finger. I could take you to other Spaces and teach you to stop Time, to see and hear what others cannot, and even how NOT to see and NOT to hear, but just to KNOW. However, I want to forget everything… next to you… at least for a while.”


*****RETURNING HOME*****

***
Ouranoupoli


I was woken up by the alarm clock. I stretched sweetly and went out to the balcony. The Sun was shining, but the day before, at the Full Moon party, Dimitra had said that it would start raining from Monday. I still had a whole day left on Athos, since Kostas would pick me up to take me to the airport at 21:30.

After breakfast, I went down to the sea and dashed into the azure water to swim behind the buoys. “God, what a blessing to be here!” I thought and looked around the neighboring island of Ammouliani, the mysterious Tower at the pier of Ouranoupoli and my tiny beach with white sand and olives, almost deserted.

In the evening I went to say goodbye to my friends and finish reading the Akathist on the border with Athos. As I approached Janis’ icon shop, I noticed Leah talking excitedly in Greek on the phone. Running up to me, she hugged me happily.

“Happiness exists indeed, Alice! The period of staying here without going abroad has been reduced! I can return home to Georgia! God, finally I’ll see my daughter and parents!”

“Are you leaving, Alice?” Janis approached us. “I’ll be pleased if sometimes you remember us and Ouranoupoli. Just like that, not on holidays. For example, write to me, ‘Janis, hello! What’s the weather like there right now?’ And I’ll answer, ‘It’s raining here, and what about you?’”

“Agreed!” I smiled.

Socrates offered me coffee.

“Next year when you come, I’ll get a cross for you! From Father Euphemios, from Athos, his own design!”

Kiri was enjoying freshly squeezed juice in a cafe.

“How was the party yesterday, Alice? Did you like it?”

“Yes, of course. Though, at night I had some kind of a weird dream. I don’t remember what exactly it was about, but…”

“You can dream all sorts of things during the Full Moon! And as for me, well, it’s enough. I passed the shop to my employee. I’m about to give birth.”

Dimitra was talking to a customer at the checkout, so I went inside and stopped at the wall with hand-painted icons. Having freed, Dimitra came up to me and hugged me,

“So, what does your soul want next summer?”

“Peter with the keys,” I laughed.

“Yes, I remember, I’ll order him in November!”

Suddenly, with peripheral vision, I noticed something strange on the right, on the wall with icons we were standing at. I turned my head whispering,

“Just don’t tell me I’m crazy!”

Dimitra turned her head and shouted at the whole shop, calling her husband, who was drinking coffee outside.

“Do you understand anything?” she asked him, pointing to the icon which was hanging in the center among the others.

Dimitra’s husband raised his eyebrows in surprise and spread his hands helplessly. Dimitra told me to keep an eye on the icon and ran after her brother. The brother examined the icon wall for a long time, and then asked me,

“Confess it, Alice, it was you who materialized it!”

They took out their notebooks of orders and sales and stated,

“We’ve never had an icon of Peter with keys in our history!”

“You just didn’t want to give me the keys to Paradise!”

“Well, it is yours, of course,” Dimitra smiled and added, “You must believe in God so much that He even sent you the icon!”


***
On the border


Having finished reading the Akathist, I sat on the seashore at the border with Athos holding the icon of St. Peter. With the keys. The Sun was setting into the sea. The waves were whispering louder and louder…

Suddenly, a monk appeared on the deserted shore. I thought I had seen him before. He came up to me, sat down nearby and asked,

“Why are you sad, my soul?”

“It’s time to return home, while I felt so good here!”

“And what are you dreaming about?”

“I would like to climb the Holy Mountain. They say, the Stairway to Heaven starts right from its top.”

The monk stood up and, holding out his hand to me, grinned,

“So why are you sitting here?”

“I’m not allowed there. I’m a girl.”

“Already allowed,” the monk smiled and instantly turned into a shining Guardian Angel.

He took my hand and led me home … to Heaven.