Confession of a Ghost. 17. 24. Wife of the Ghost

“CONFESSION of a GHOST”
a novel by Alexandra Kryuchkova
in the “PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY” series

24 BEFORE/17 AFTER. HOUSE No. 7 (DSC)

*****MEETING*****

***
Somewhere in the Universe


I opened the door to House No. 7 and almost fell into the abyss from a sheer cliff. In the pitch black night, it was snowing flakes. The Guardian saved me from falling and led me to the saving cave to the right.

“Ugh!” I sighed as we got inside. “The cliffs here are so sheer and, moreover, slippery because of the snow, that one can’t even see the bottom!”

“The Sphere of Partnership and Marriage, as well as your Enemies.”

“Partners and enemies with stone hearts? And who will warm me on Earth?”

Saturn appeared from the depths of the cave with a torch in his hands, accompanied by a small white goat.

“How did you get here?” I was surprised.

“I can get to all the Houses I have a connection with from the Tower Dungeon. I’m the master of your House No. 7.”

We sat down by the fire visualized by Saturn.

“House No. 7 begins in the 13th degree of Capricorn and lasts 13 degrees. The Houses of the 2nd half of the Circle are equal in size to the Houses of the 1st half, such is the law. This is the degree of the Snow Goat, the degree of Venus, with whom I’m friends. It means an attractive appearance and the gift of charm, while from the outside it’s difficult to understand what is happening in the soul. The rocks are beautiful, they keep their mystery inside, it’s not easy to penetrate. Individuals are exceptionally gifted, creative, living in their reality and dreams, but in society they are purposefully tough, decent and honest, with high demands towards themselves and others. Romanticism is combined with reason and stranglehold. I’m the planet of the elders, you’ll be drawn to those who are much older and stronger. One’s strength, as you understand it, is the strength of one’s Spirit and mind. You appreciate intelligent and wise companions, with whom it’s interesting, calm and comfortable. For those who follow the Path of the Spirit from childhood and don’t stop growing, it’s not an easy task to find a companion. This degree often means celibacy and loneliness. Such people have unbending, rock-like strength of will, excessive self-control. They rely on eternal principles, raising above feelings and attachments. They are attracted to Heaven, the heavenly depth is important to them, their fundamental principles are beyond the scope of earthly life. It’s no coincidence we are in a cave. One astrologer compared the 13th Degree of Capricorn to a fire-worshiper meditating on the ultimate realities of existence. This degree was depicted as the Spirit in the guise of Venus, a beautiful woman who emerges from the Darkness into the Mist, and from the Mist rises to the True Light. As a result, you must realize the unity of all that exists and defeat the earthly Self, dissolving it in the Timelessness of Eternity. By the way, there is still a monastic state in Greece, on Earth. The most persistent hermits live there in caves on sheer cliffs, which not every brave traveler can get close to.”

“Can I get there?”

“Only men are allowed in,” the Guardian said. “However, you’ll travel a lot, this degree is a symbol of wandering.”

The White Goat put her head on my knees, and I stroked her, looking through the flames outside, where it was snowing in the pitch black night.

“The 13th degree of Capricorn is a sign of the patronage of the Higher Forces,” Saturn smiled. “The more often you look at the sky, the stronger are the wings of your Guardian, and the Veil of Heaven will cover your tired shoulders. In the country of your incarnation the first snow usually falls on the feast of the Intercession.”

“Look,” the Guardian added, “right above the door to House No. 7, Nunki is located — an asterisk in the plumage of the Sagittarius arrow, known even to the Sumerians of the Tower of Babel.”

“Sometimes it serves Jupiter, and sometimes to me, Saturn. We are two opposites. Jupiter gives a person something good on a large scale easily and simply, and I give only absolutely necessary through hard work. The Path to Heaven is never easy.”

“Only lazy, wicked and foolish people can be happy on Earth!” I muttered.

“Never look at others,” Saturn replied, stroking my head. “Nunki means a strong character, a religious spirit, truthfulness, straightforwardness and frankness, thoughtfulness, restraint, problems with parents, the presence of enemies that reduce success to nothing. However, success is guaranteed for you.”

“Will I have a husband? And what is the difference between Houses No. 5 and No. 7?”

“House No. 5 shows who you fall in love with, to whom your heart is attracted, these are Pluto and Uranus. The connections of the Sun show the kind of relationship and their result. Pluto humiliates you and drives you to suicide, the union will break apart. Neptune leads you to a new level of spiritual development and stimulates creativity, but he is an illusionary or ghosty husband, he gives you the feeling that he doesn’t exist. The Moon gives a marriage of two strong and equal persons. Mercury means friendships, you’ll be like his twin sister. Juno has already said who makes you happy in your family. They are Uranus, a genius, of another religion or a foreigner; Mars, a mystic-hermit-introvert, a military man or a person from isolated organizations; and Jupiter, a patron-philanthropist, like-minded person. As the Master of House No. 7, I clarify information about marriage and partners – late marriage, marriage with a big age difference, marriage of convenience – in your case, with someone who is wiser and stronger in Spirit. Capricorns and Saturns are good for you, since they have solid ground under their feet and common sense.”

“Have those with whom I can create a family already been embodied on Earth, or they are multivariate, not predetermined?”

“Your characteristics are written in their passports. No one can be attracted to you without indication of you as a soul-mate or a life partner. The passports show the years of marriage, the birth of children, information about parents.”

“Where should I look for my husband?”

“What is destined in Heaven happens by itself, you won’t pass by,” Saturn chuckled. “Your Guardian will arrange everything, don’t worry. The places of meeting are predetermined by Houses No. 6, 11 and 12 – such as offices, medical institutions, churches, or thanks to pets, friends, politics, TV, media, the Internet, through any service to the world, in clubs and associations, hobby clubs, isolated institutions and organizations, mysterious, mystical and esoteric places, islands, hospitals, abroad, in prison…”

“In prison?” I jumped up.

“Rukh, you are sensitive like the Moon!” Saturn smiled and patted my shoulder. “What kind of enemies will you get?”

“Beautifully cold ones,” I cringed.

“Yes, coolly calculating, cruel, purposeful, stubborn, unbending like a rock. The main cause of malice and intrigues is envy. People tend to have this bad and purely earthly feeling. If you are head and shoulders above many of them, few will like it. You’ll be a modest, hardworking, silent person, but the Light, even hidden inside the mountain, is always felt by the Darkness, that tries to turn it off. Enter a relationship carefully, weighing all the pros and cons.”

“My work partners,” I continued the chain of thoughts, “since Pluto is in charge of my work, will they poison me almost to death?”

“Don’t forget that I’m in charge of Pluto’s energy, being the Master of his official House No. 8. You, your partners and enemies are somehow Pluto people. Communicate with spiritual partners, Saturn-Capricorn and Jupiter-Sagittarius. Pluto in House No. 5 in opposition to your Sun poisons you, depriving of strength, but in House No. 7, in opposition to me, he’ll kill you, because I’m weaker than him, unlike your Sun.”

“Can my Death be connected with one of my partners?”

“Not just can, it’s bound.”


***
Library of the Universe


“Angel, how can I remember everything on Earth?”

“You’re a mage!” the Guardian smiled, and a young man appeared at the next table. I was immediately drawn to him.

“He is an incarnated one,” I stated to the Guardian in a whisper. “May I meet him?”

“Funny… Go…”

I cautiously flew up to the Incarnated and touched his shoulder.

“Hello! I’m Rukh. I’m about to incarnate. Why do you come here to the Library? Do you have no books there?”

“Hello,” the Incarnated looked at my astral body with interest. “We have the so-called iron curtain. You have to sign up for books, wait in line. The shops are completely empty. We have no foreign literature. There is almost nothing at all there.”

“But something needs to be done about it!” I exclaimed.

“What can be done?” the Incarnated asked thoughtfully.

“Well, books, of course! And make a lot of them, beautiful and deep, so that everyone on Earth has the same Library as this one!”

“An interesting idea for my future business!” the Incarnated grinned. “I’ve been thinking about what to do.”

“You know, when I incarnate, I’ll write books and give them to you for your Library!” I smiled.

“So are you a future writer?” the Incarnated grinned. “What are you going to write about?”

“About this World, of course!” I laughed. “Now I’m reading here one of my future books, ‘Do you believe in ghosts?’”

“Wow! I love everything mysterious and magical! Well, Rukh, agreed, you incarnate and write, and then find me on Earth, and I’ll publish your books so that they appear in libraries! And for the idea of my future business, I promise to make you a star!” the Incarnated smiled and winked at me.

“No, books are written not for stardom!”

“Well, when you grow up, I’ll take you into my business as a partner and pass it on to you when I’m old!”

The Guardian beckoned to me. I waved my hand to the Incarnated and returned to the table by the window, as suddenly…

“What is it, my soul?” the Guardian asked me with a sigh.

“The Incarnated,” I turned around, but there was nobody there, “he is Pluto!”

“Yes, and now you both are bound to meet on Earth,” the Guardian said sadly, and the book opened to the story “Meeting”, in which a girl’s ghost found her abuser in order to make him pass sentence on himself.

“That scoundrel isn’t worth your death! Why does Earth still keep such beasts alive?! They deserve instant punishment!”

“Are you sure?”

“Undoubtedly!”

The old man clutched at his heart. He was gasping and, writhing in pain, slowly sinking down.

“I was looking for the man,” the girl said in an icy voice, and when the old man breathed his last, she stated, “And I’ve found him, finally.”


*****GHOST’s WIFE*****

***
Somewhere in the Mist


The sounds of the Moonlight Sonata and the Mist, they were haunting me.

“Alice, you need to move on!” a magical male voice came from the Mist.

I ran into the distance, but I found myself in an office where I saw Me in the Past throw myself weeping at the feet of a man so that he would let me go. He helped me on my Path. I was grateful to him and loved that his House, where the ghosts of poets and writers lived. The Moonlight Sonata, it was impossible to escape from it! It became unbearable for me to look at Me in the Past.

“Don’t leave!” I shouted to myself through the Space of Time.

“Alice, you’re right, you need to move on,” the man said.

“Stay!” I shouted again to Me in the Past.

“You won’t leave us anywhere!” a female voice screamed. “We loved you so much! He is a thief! He has no right to steal you from us!”

The Moonlight Sonata filled the entire cabinet along with the Mist. It spread in waves, sounding in a circle, non-stop, penetrating every atom there.

“Alice, you need to move on,” Ray finally woke me up.


***
Moscow


“Did you find what you were looking for?” the Ghost of my neighbor’s husband asked sadly, meeting me at the lift, while his wife jangled the keys, closing their flat door.

I shook my head negatively. Lena came up to the lift.

“Let’s try together!” I suggested to the Ghost, and we shouted from both sides in her ears, “Lena!”

The lift opened the doors, but Lena suddenly turned back and looked around the empty space when her Guardian appeared and looked at us reproachfully,

“She’ll be late and get into an accident! Moreover, ghosts are allowed to communicate with the incarnated only during their sleep!”

We apologized. Having moved to my room, I plopped down on the bag with a pillow and a blanket. Ray was sitting on the windowsill.

“I saw that Woman with two faces. We met on the roof of a house while she was sleeping.”

“Who is she?”

“Love,” I sighed. “That’s all I found out.”

“You missed your chance! It would be worth telling your story and asking for help to remember something, to find out about the Boy. Well, how could you? And in the Court?”

“Oh … you know, the military men, alcoholics and unwilling to live used to fall in love with me. I tried to help them. One of them came to thank me, said that Venice was no longer weeping, and the City of the Sun was waiting for me.”

“Well, it’s good that people still come to you in the Court. As for me… but it’s not about me now.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, smiling. “My favorite children’s books, with amazing pictures! I collected them for a whole bookcase during one of my dark periods. In the evenings, I used to sit by the fireplace in my rocking chair and read them to myself. A fairy tale therapy. I didn’t have books as a child, moreover with pictures on each page!”

“And what is this book? Skinny, like handmade, on a paperclip?”


***
A kitchen


“So whose wife are you?” Denis asked me, pouring cognac. “Victor’s? Eugene’s? Boris’? No, you can’t be Boris’ for age, although anything can happen! Or… whose? Everyone there treats you as a wife… Confess it!”

I looked around – it was a small kitchen with dimmed lights, sank in tobacco smoke. It was night outside the window. How did I get there? Who was he? I took a step to the side and watched what was happening, standing at the window.

“You guessed it wrong. No ones’, ” I chuckled in the Past. “Well, consider me the wife of a sorcerer.”

“Sorcerer?!” exclaimed Denis. “Very romantic!”

“He’s a ghost,” I continued.

“How long ago?” Denis handed me a sandwich with red caviar.

“Perhaps he has always been a ghost.”

“You speak in riddles! Eat it up, Alice.”

He brought a book with his poems, handed it to me as a gift, I ran through it with my eyes and sighed, and he continued unobtrusively,

“You know, I have a friend, she goes to a man and lives with him periodically, they have a platonic relationship, because he is impotent, but he enjoys seeing her beauty in his apartment. He pays her well. What do you think about it?”

“I respect those who don’t make problems of that.”

Ray appeared out of nowhere and took my hand.

“But it’s better to be a ghost’s wife, isn’t it?”


***
Moscow


“Note that, they all made you obscene proposals,” Ray chuckled when we got back to my house. “Wherever you worked, they asked you to marry them, or just to be like that… You had plenty of options!”

“Those were not my options! I remembered what had been in the note to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. I asked him to marry me off.”

“Great, you didn’t indicate the person. And? What happened next?”

“Michael, dreaming of settling me in Italy, posted my photos on international dating websites. An Italian doctor recognized the Tower, against which I had been photographed during that tour, in the town of Monopoli, in the realm of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, next to Bari. The Italian lived in Monopoli, he wrote to me and then called. It turned out that his daughter, who was studying Russian at the institute, had been at my performance in the Tower! In brief, it was funny!”

“There was nothing funny about that! He offered you to marry him. You would have lived in your Italy! Weeping Venice was rewritten, you got to the Wonderworker in Bari to change your destiny! How could you cross out one of the best scripts? Ungrateful! What for? Or rather, for whom?” Ray twisted his finger at his temple and added sternly, “What did you want to do before leaving here? So?!”

As a helpless shadow, I glided along the walls with icons, to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, and asked for forgiveness. All the Saints seemed to be saying something to me, but I couldn’t understand what.

“Ray, give me a hint! Please!” I screamed out of helplessness.

“You always stopped right at what you were looking for!”

“But you used to appear saying, ‘Raise your head!’”

“So raise it up! They’ll lock me in the Dungeon for hints, and we won’t meet again, except in the Court. Do you think we’re not being watched? Just so as not to embarrass you, everyone is silent and doesn’t show up! Look for the Woman, read the diary in the Library, listen attentively to your conversations with the Athos locals! Summarize what you see in this room and hear in the Court! No one but yourself can help you!”


***
Ouranoupoli


Socrates was lounging imposingly with coffee in a wicker chair at his shop on the sea street.

“Sit down, Alice! I gave the Italians your favorite, which reminded you of a card from the Tarot deck – the Virgin, pierced by swords! The rarest version of the icon ‘Seven Swords, or Arrows’ or ‘The Softener of evil hearts’, also called ‘Simeon’s Prophecy’, on which all 7 swords really pierced Her through, not depicted separately. A strange name of the icon is ‘Seven arrows’, as if the Virgin is shooting,” Socrates gestured for the waiter from the restaurant next to the shop and asked for coffee for me.

“‘Simeon’s Prophecy’ is clearer to me too. The prophecy of St. Simeon the God-Receiver, who at the presentation of Christ in the Jerusalem Temple predicted to Mary Her future pain at the loss of Her Son, that She would be able to read the hearts of other people, according to the Evangelist Luke, ‘and a sword shall pierce through Thy own soul also, so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed’. There are two common images of the same iconographic type, depending on the arrangement of the swords, 3 on the left +4 on the right, and 3+3 both sides +1 on the bottom. The holiday of the ‘Seven Swords’ is on August 26, and ‘The Softener of evil hearts’ is celebrated on February 14–15. Previously, Mary was portrayed in full growth, standing on a cloud, and now to the waist. Before the revolution of 1917, not far from Moscow, in Kaluga region, there was a miraculous icon ‘Passionate’, the Virgin holds Christ taken down from the Cross in Her arms, and Her heart is pierced by 7 arrows. The Old Believers had a rare image of the Virgin with Christ the Child. She stood in front of a stone wall, and the royal crown on Her head had the image of Herself, crying over the crucified Christ.”

“Why those swords are seven?”

“The fullness of the measure, in this case of sorrow. In Armenia there is a 19th-century church ‘The Seven Wounds of the Virgin’, its main icon is ‘The Seven Sorrows of the Virgin’ – the prophecy of Simeon, escape to Egypt from King Herod, search for the lost 12-year-old Christ in Jerusalem, separation at His departure for preaching, His arrest, crucifixion, and burial. In the Apocalypse, ‘7’ sounds like an expression of fullness, ‘And 7 seals will fall’.”

“I heard that 7 swords are 7 human sins: pride, despondency, fornication, gluttony, anger, greed, envy; they pierce the soul of the Virgin. What does this icon help in?”

“The name ‘The Softener of evil hearts’ speaks by itself, it helps with reconciliation of the warring, deliverance from hardness of heart, protection from enemies and ill-wishers, offenders and envious people, during persecution. It catches the arrows and takes them away from a person. Swords and arrows are also sins, one can pray to get rid of vices; and are weapons – to protect warriors. The origin of the image itself with 7 arrows is shrouded in mystery, it’s not clear who was its first painter, the icon is revered both in Catholicism and in Orthodoxy. Is it not the Providence of Heaven? – after all, this icon is a symbol of peacemaking, not the struggle for the right of supremacy.”

“It’s on the right place over my doorway!”

“The icon ‘Seven Swords’ helps one to come to terms. She suffered so much, and Her Son suffered so much, what are my troubles in comparison with their cross? Once in Vologda, the Virgin asked a lame man to find that icon in the local stone church and promised to heal him. The found icon was about 500 years old, during the construction of the stairs to the bell tower of the Apostle John the Theologian, they took it for an ordinary board and walked on it. After its discovery, it performed many miracles, in 1830 stopped the epidemic of cholera. Local residents preserved the icon during the revolution of 1917, and now it’s in the new Church of the Righteous Lazarus in Vologda. There is also the myrrh-streaming ‘Softener of evil hearts’ from Bachurino. A woman bought a printed icon, applied it to the relics in the Intercession Convent, and it began to stream myrrh, after that the woman handed it over to a church near Moscow. During terrorist attacks and other tragic events, drops of blood appeared on the icon. Now the icon often travels around the world, and it visited Athos as well.”

“Wow! Why do the Italians have a soft spot for it?”

“In the Milan Cathedral there is a statue of the 17th century ‘The Suffering Mother’ – Mary with arrows in Her heart, and there is an interesting icon in Venice. In 1942, the Italians, who fought on the side of Germany, found one of the copies of the ‘Seven Swords’ in a destroyed house on the river Don and handed it over to the regimental priest. He called her ‘The Don Madonna’ and, during the offensive of the Russian troops, sent it to his mother in Italy with a request to all mothers to pray it for their sons. The priest was wounded, taken prisoner, but returned home alive. This icon now is located in a chapel in Venice, along with Don soil and water in special vessels. In 2011, the myrrh-streaming ‘Softener of evil hearts’ from Russia arrived in Italy, visited different cities and met with ‘The Don Madonna’ in Venice.”

“I wish I could remember as much as you know, but I couldn’t. It’s time for you to open an icon shop!”

I smiled and took a step away from Me in the Past, because I had already remembered what would happen next. I would ask Dimitra to find out why the monk from the Skete of St. Anna painted the clothes of “The Kazanskaya Virgin” in orange. She would call the monk, and he would tell her that as a child, he found a “treasure” in his garden – an ancient icon of the Kazanskaya Virgin Mary, covered with red rust, that was the reason he used orange colors when painting Her clothes.


***
Tower of Ouranoupoli


Joice treated me to jasmine tea, and I didn’t move one step forward in my “digging”.

“Perhaps you are wrong, and something implicitly leads you to the desired result. Try to find the Woman!”


***
Abandoned building, Moscow


I moved to the roof of the strange building, but the Woman didn’t appear. I tried to become conscious in the Court, but for some reason that didn’t work either. I felt in a dead end.


***
Library of the Universe


As I sat down at a table in the Reading Hall, I caught myself thinking that I had clearly been to the Library during my lifetime on Earth. What for?

“How long have I felt like Cinderella sorting through the grain in the cellar. Everyone demands something from me, as if I constantly owe everyone something. I wish at least someone said, ‘Let’s go to the park! I’ll take a picture of you. Or just to walk silently’…”

“… I found a book of monastic humor. The soul of an oligarch sits in the Heavenly Office, waiting for a decision. The Guardian comes out, “To Hell!” The oligarch jumps up, “Why to Hell? I built seven churches, gave the abbot the 600 Mercedes!” He lists a lot of investments. The Guardian replies, “Don’t worry, we’ll give you the money back!”

“One of the rules of December is to pay off those to whom you owe something. Money or a deed, or a promise to fulfill. The one who promised something and didn’t do it, will be taken away three times more – years of life, money, something important. The deceived one will be forgiven for some sins or one’s lifetime will be prolonged (or saved from something bad), one will be rewarded three times. A person promised me in front of witnesses to gift me something important and did nothing. I made it myself, spending a lot of money and gift it to him. He asked, ‘What am I supposed to do with it?’ I said, ‘Whatever you want.’ I have many debtors. For a large amount and not only. You can’t even imagine how much they promised and didn’t do. I always try to do what I promised and even more, but they treat me exactly the opposite. However, maybe that’s why I’m still alive…”

“True love can neither be bought nor sold. He called me a witch, it’s funny! But sometimes I look at those verses and think, a devil pulled me so prophetically to formulate, ‘you are my Sun and Death’, for example. Relationship means the energy bridge working in both directions, if only in one direction, it’s vampirism. Probably no one loved me at all, except God. It happens that way too.”

“I look into the Future and don’t see the main thing. There are no men, just boys. More and more often I want to howl. ‘How do I get into the House?’ Alice repeated quite loudly and heard in response, ‘Who said you had to get into it?’ If the 7th House doesn’t smell of marriage, while all the indicators of the year are present, stop communicating with business partners.”

“I opened the I Ching book and read, ‘You can’t save the one you follow.’ Sometimes everything is obvious, but one keeps doing something to spite oneself instead of waking up to compensate bad deeds… If you don’t go beyond the usual boundaries of your swamp, one day you will get bogged down in it. At least look at it from the side. And it’s useless to drag a hippopotamus out of the swamp if he doesn’t want to get out himself. He sinks deeper and deeper and says that black is white and white is black. The Darkness surrounds him whispering, ‘You are right! White is black!’ It’s useless to prove that white is white. If you are in white among the black, so this is given to you as a test. As they told me on Athos, the closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes. The main thing is not to become the Darkness yourself.”

“The one who betrays a friend will be betrayed by a ‘friend’. One person at work wrote, ‘If I were not your enemy.’ And the other said, ‘You should make friends with…’ I’m glad that bad people are not my friends… In my secluded and almost monastic life, the only friend is God… The Evil laughs conquering, but the one who laughs last laughs best…”