Confession of a Ghost. 12. 29. Bang-bang!

“CONFESSION of a GHOST”
a novel by Alexandra Kryuchkova
in the “PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY” series

29 BEFORE/12 AFTER. HOUSE No. 5

*****BANG-BANG!*****

***
Somewhere in the Universe


As soon as we returned to House No. 5, the sky turned black, lightning flashed, thunder struck right at me, and I collapsed from the clouds. It smelled damp. I sat down on a stone surrounded by reeds.

“Be careful, my soul! You are in a deep swamp, every step may be your last one,” the Guardian smiled.

Suddenly, right from the sky, a man like clown fell on me.

“Hello, Rukh!” he exclaimed. “I’m Uranus, representative of Heaven and the Future. I’m responsible for astrology, Cosmos, aviation, electricity, lightning, the latest technologies, discoveries, for the fact that – bang-bang! – and … In Greece, there is a place called Ouranoupoli, the City of Heaven, on the border between Heaven and Earth, at the Holy Mount Athos. It was founded in 350 BC by the philosopher Alexarchus, brother of a Macedonian king, with the aim of creating an ideal state. I love philosophers! Alexarchus invited people from all over the world to the city, called them the Sons of Heaven, equalized their rights and invented a common language. However, like everyone driven by me, he could be appreciated only by descendants … In brief, ‘goodbye, my beloved city!’ It was razed to the ground, recently rebuilt. Find my Ouranoupoli, since I’m in the Sphere of the Heart, Love-Children-Creativity. By the way, thunder is one of my tools for reminding earthlings of Heaven, and lightning gives people flashes of insight. I am Mr. Suddenness and Unpredictability! It’s a pity that people get used to everything too quickly, it’s hard to surprise them, one has to use one’s brain a lot! I’ve been compared to genius and madness. And I’m your Death. Or rather, its assistant – bang-bang! – and hello, Heaven!”

Uranus turned from the clown into a monk and, folding his hands in prayer, added,

“I need you to keep changing. Bang-bang! – and you turn from the clown into …? Well, I can’t always be the same! Get used to changing costumes and scenery! I’m also a revolutionist! I love revolutions! Destroying the previous to the ground, I don’t create a new one, but prepare the ground for subsequent creation!” Uranus materialized a scorpio and threw it at me, “Do you like it? I am in Scorpio! Well, open your eyes, I have already dematerialized it!”

I opened my eyes. It seemed that Uranus could be trusted, the scorpio had disappeared.

“I like Scorpio, really! I’m exalting in it!” Uranus suddenly started dancing in the swamp, forming a powerful whirlwind. “The exaltation of a planet is its high spirits, an enthusiastic emotional dance!”

The whirlwind disappeared, and Uranus turned into a young man in a black cloak with a hood, holding a bow and arrows. He took aim to shoot me.

“This is what your Death looks like! People portray Death as an old woman with a scythe, and you’ll have a man with an arrow! Bang-bang! – and straight to the heart! Ivan the Prince accidentally killed Frog the Princess! Sorry,” Uranus changed again, so he was in a dark blue cloak, strewn with silvery stars. “You won’t get bored with me, right? Remember two words: surprise and non-standard! My true essence is manifested in Scorpio, the Sign of Pluto, it gives me extreme strength. Pluto slowly poisons you with scorpion venom, and I sharply destroy the ground under your feet. I stay in Scorpio for about 7 years, the predominance of a rebellious spirit over humility is not characteristic of you personally. The brilliant poets Marina Tsvetaeva and Vladimir Mayakovsky had me in Scorpio too!”

“Did they die with your arrows in their hearts?”

“Every death has its arrows. There are two types of Uranus in Scorpio. The 1st. You climb the Stairs, using my energy and ideas for creation, actively work on yourself, learn the Spiritual and become the Phoenix Bird, no arrows will harm you. The 2nd. You become an egoist with extremist tendencies, uncontrollable outbursts of anger and malice, you plunge headlong into black magic and the occult, and / or into passionate sex, totally destroying everything around and yourself in the end. Something similar happened to Hermann Goering and Joseph Goebbels.”

“Did they die because of you too?”

“And they, too, died of… themselves,” Uranus clarified. “Scorpio stings itself, and I suddenly destroy. Uranus in Scorpio predisposes to premature death, but it’s not a determining factor. It’s not appropriate to talk about Death here. Let’s summarize! Love for the sky and Heavens, flights both in dreams and reality, flashes of insight, the generation of brilliant ideas that are alien to others. However, I’m a symbol of the Future, a planet of posthumous glory of the madness of the brave!”

“Having broken the stereotypes, one suddenly finds oneself in a mysterious cave with countless treasures, but doesn’t know or can’t realize their true value, like one’s surroundings,” said the Guardian.

“Of course, you are Saturn, Rukh. By the way, I am in his degree – unhappiness in relationship, but amazing diligence and patience. You’re a little donkey who is promised the carrot already eaten by someone else! Saturn is conservative, loves everything systemic, while I love everything that goes beyond any system. He is a planet of slow changes, and I’m of abrupt ones. He makes plans. I destroy them. He needs constancy. I need change and innovation. As for creativity, you are like me!”

“You’ll ruin my House No. 5,” I sighed.

“I’ll take away the ground under your feet. Unexpected and non-standard stormy passions, head over heels in love, frantic bursts of overflowing emotions, no fear of condemnation by society, courage, audacity and suddenly – bang-bang! – some loss.”

“As well as children? Will the results of creativity be lost too?”

“An early and / or sudden child, conceived and / or born in an unusual way, genius, leaving home early, sudden death is possible. You won’t be paid for creativity, they can appropriate authorship for themselves, which is stupid, since everything is simple with copyright in Heaven. There is only one author – it’s God, and creativity is free of charge. A well-deserved victory will be taken away by a pretty girl, the jury will fall in love with, but no one can take away talent from geniuses! The themes of creativity are Love, Death and Magic, Spiritual and Starry, since I connect Spheres 5-8-9. Whatever you do, it’ll stand out from the crowd. On the stage, you’ll electrify the audience, create a vortex and drag people into the Flow! Controlling the energies of Other Dimensions, traveling through Heaven not in dreams but in reality, you’ll be able to tell people so much interesting!”

“What for? They’ll think I’m crazy!”

“Geniuses are recognized posthumously, and what is prescribed in Heaven is beyond your desire, this is the Matrix. Your task is to realize the passport data by choosing the best possible corridor in the given Time Space coordinates. People won’t understand you at all, accept it. You are a character from an alien reality for them. Abstract from the earthly Self, don’t get caught in the net of earthly passions, hold on to God and Heaven, keep a constant inner contact with us.”

“Hello, Rukh!” greeted me a Star that appeared in the swamp.

“Hi-hi. What are you a collector of? Of carrots?”

“Rukh, stop it!” the Guardian snapped at me. “Gakrux, or Gamma of the Southern Cross, the star of Spiritual leadership and Prophecy, gives one more chance to understand the meaning and purpose of incarnation, and find the door at the Burnt Road without getting stuck in the trap of Genesis!”

“I give interest in metaphysics and endow high spirituality,” Gacrux said, smiling. “I am the 3rd brightest star in the Southern Cross and the 24th in the sky. People see me in the Southern Hemisphere. I’m present on the flags of many countries. There are two stars in me at once. One is red, its mass is 3 times more the mass of the Sun, and its luminosity is 1,500 times; and the other is small and white, related to the red by gravitation, but few people notice it.”

“Gakrux and I are in exact conjunction, at the same second,” Uranus added. “I’m in charge of your Sphere No. 9, the Spiritual Path and Teaching, so you need to transmit to the world the knowledge about the Other — our — Reality.”

“Ga-Crux… Crux means Cross, right?” I asked.

“Each cross is unique!” Uranus stated. “As the ruler of Sphere No. 9 in House No. 5, I warn you about the tendency to misperceive your loved ones, to fall into the clutches of manipulators. Love with a person of a different nationality, citizenship or religion is possible. In creativity, I give philosophy, despair, disappointment, but your works will be published during your lifetime. It’s ideal to create abroad, for example, in Ouranoupoli. By the way, I’m friends with your Mars. I love retreats to Places of Power! And as for my opposition to Jupiter… Well, a happy person doesn’t have brilliant creativity, Rukh! Jupiter means happiness, fame, big business, status patrons. I will take away Jupiter’s gifts from you, and when I get to him personally, hold on!”

“What is there to hold on to?” I asked.

“What’s to?” Uranus laughed. “To Heaven!”


***
Library of the Universe


“Angel, are you all together agreed on purpose?”

“No, we serve the Creator, whose intentions are difficult to comprehend even by angels.”

“In which of the 12 Spheres will I be fine?”

“You’ll be fine in Heaven,” the Guardian smiled and, looking at the title of the story “Water Lily,” added, “You’ll write this fairy tale at the age of 13. Then you’ll read it to your son, he’ll like it. Many people will. And you know, Rukh, even just one small fairy tale written on Earth makes one’s incarnation not in vain.”

“I’m afraid of going through life without seeing anything in it, except for our pond. I would like to take off into the Sky at least once, to look at Earth from a height. I would give the rest of my life for that moment!”


****CHILDREN*****

***
Ouranoupoli


“Wow! Is it St. Andrew’s ring?” I asked Kiri.

“Do you want to give it to your son?” she smiled.

“Yes, although I love rings with prayers and Saints too. I went around all the shops, but found St. Andrew only at yours.”

“He is not only the First-Called Apostle, but also a Martyr, crucified on a cross in the Peloponnesian city of Patras, where the Holy Spring still exists. There, in the Cathedral of St. Andrew the First-Called, the largest in Greece, his head and a particle of the cross are kept, and the relics of the Saint in different countries continue to stream myrrh. There is a hand of St. Andrew in the Great Lavra of St. Athanasius, some relics are in the St. Andrew’s Skete, and in Germany, in the Trier Cathedral, there’s a foot and one of the nails. There is much confusion with the relics of the Saint, as well as with the countries where he preached. According to legend, in the 4th century they were transferred to Constantinople to the Church of the Holy Apostles with the relics of the Evangelist Luke, from where the relics disappeared, but versions differ – in the 8th century they were transported to Scotland, in the 13th century – to Amalfi, in the 15th century – to Corfu, and then to Rome. Are you not afraid that your son, having received this ring as a gift, will refuse to marry, like St. Andrew?”

“Wouldn’t you like your son to go to a monastery on Athos?”

“I would be totally against it!” Kiri replied without hesitation. “Did you name him according to the church calendar?”

“St. Andrew’s Day is on November 30 / December 13, the feast of All Apostles is on June 30 / July 13. The summer date is closer to my son. By the way, we have three generations of Andrew.”

“Andrew was the brother of the Apostle Peter, they fished together on the Lake of Gennesaret and lived in Capernaum. Before being called by Christ, Andrew was a disciple of John the Baptist. ‘Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.’ Is your son fishing for men already in the third generation?” Kiri smiled.

“Rather, all three generations carry the St. Andrew’s Cross.”

“We all carry our cross. Andrew is one of the 4 Apostles to whom Christ revealed the Fate of the World on the Mount of Olives. Moreover, he resurrected people and possessed all the gifts of the Spirit after the Fire of Pentecost. St. Andrew is the patron of Greece, Russia, Ukraine, Sicily, Romania and Scotland.”

“Yes, in Russia, Tsar Peter I established the highest award, the Order of St. Andrew the First-Called, and the flag of the Russian navy is called Andreevsky, it depicts the cross of St. Andrew, because this Saint also patronizes sailors. One day, he resurrected 40 men who were heading to him for teaching of Christ, but died during a storm caused by the Devil.”

***

Dimitra was cooing with customers inside her shop. I walked up to the wall with hand-painted icons and slowly glided over them with my eyes. I knew the location of each by heart, and St. Peter with the keys was still missing.

“Hello, Alice!” having got freed, Dimitra patted me on the shoulder. “Perfect day! ‘The Belt of the Virgin’ is gone! They asked about all the kids’ icons. They have a child and want more babies. I showed the Belt and St. Stylianos. Let’s drink coffee with stories in a bite!”

“So,” I began, “if God doesn’t give children, we have ‘Phylogeny’, or the Old Testament ‘Trinity’ with Abraham and Sarah hosting three angels, who appeared to them with joyful news about the imminent birth of their son. ‘The Belt of the Virgin Mary’, St. Simeon …”

“The Belt itself is kept in the Vatopedi monastery on Mount Athos, but I heard that it was taken to Russia.”

“Yes, on the initiative of the St. Andrew the First-Called Foundation. In 40 days, the Athos delegation visited 14 cities and the monastery of St. Seraphim of Sarov. The route was drawn up in such way that the lines connecting the stops formed an eight-pointed cross. However, the mention of the camel’s wool Belt, sent down by the Virgin Mary from Heaven to the Apostle Thomas as a blessing after Her Assumption, appeared only in the 9th century. According to one legend, the Belt was first in Jerusalem, and then in Constantinople, according to another one, it moved from Jerusalem to Italy. After the fall of Constantinople, the Belt disappeared. Although, France, Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium, as well as Russia, Greece and Syria testify to the presence of particles of the Belt. In the Syrian city of Homs, visited by me, in a silver casket in the shape of a flower, there is a camel’s wool Belt, embroidered with golden patterns, 75 centimeters long. The Belt came to Syria in the 5th century from India, where the same Apostle Thomas, who had received the Belt from the Virgin, preached and was martyred, and many representatives of the Syrian branch of Christianity live in India too.”

“Wow news! I believe in ours, the Athos one!”

“I believe that if any rope or belt is attached to the icon ‘The Belt of the Virgin,’ it’ll acquire the properties of the true Belt! It’s difficult to find a belt blessed on Athos.”

“It’s forbidden to trade with belts, I sometimes ask the monks to send some to me, and I give to those who ask me about the icon. And St. Simeon the God-receiver?”

“He lived for 360 years and couldn’t die until he saw the baby Christ in the flesh. In the 3rd century BC, the Egyptian king invited 70 translators and sages including Simeon, from Jerusalem, to replenish the Alexandrian library with the Holy Scriptures translated into Greek, the Septuagint. When the phrase that the Virgin would give birth to the Messiah came across in the prophecy of Isaiah, Simeon decided to replace the word ‘Virgin’ with ‘Wife’, but the Angel stopped him, saying that there was no mistake there, and Simeon would see it for himself. On the 40th day after the birth of Christ, now celebrated as Candlemas on February 2/15, Mary and Joseph, according to the rite, brought Christ to the Jerusalem Temple. Simeon took him in his arms and uttered two phrases. The first, he got freed and could die, and the second was addressed to the Virgin, ‘unto Thee a weapon shall pass the soul,’ which was later reflected in the icons ‘Seven-Swords’ and ‘Softener of evil hearts’.”

“Where are the relics of Simeon kept?”

“They were transferred from Jerusalem to Constantinople, but they are said to be now in Croatia, and Simeon’s right hand is kept in the cathedral of Aachen in Germany. His icon is prayed for conception and childbirth, as well as for babies in general. Simeon is also considered the Deliverer of Bonds, since he helps people in prison, because he himself was ‘in captivity’ before the birth of Christ. Even St. Nicholas the Wonderworker appeared three times to St. Peter the Athonite, who was then neither a Saint nor an Athos monk, just imprisoned during the war with Syria, saying to pray Simeon for his release.”

“Was Peter the Athonite a Greek warrior?”

“Yes, he was going to become a monk, but he put it off until later. Being imprisoned after the defeat of the Greek army, he promised St. Nicholas the Wonderworker and St. Simeon to become a monk. They appeared to him, took him out of the dungeon and led to Athos.”

“Wow! I didn’t know about Peter the Athonite,” exclaimed Dimitra. “And among the kids’ icons, there are the Virgin Mary ‘The Helper in childbirth’, the ‘Milk-Giver’ and ‘The Nativity of Christ’, right?”

“I agree! The baby in the womb is protected by ‘The Helper in childbirth’. The family icon of Christmas also helps in childbirth. The ‘Milk-Giver’, from the Athos Serbian monastery, feeding the baby Christ, helps in the first years of life. The origin of the ‘Milk-Giver’ is unknown, but in Egypt, even before Christ, the goddess Isis was similarly depicted feeding her son Horus. In Palestinian Bethlehem, there is the Milk Cave-Grotto, where the Holy Family stayed during their escape to Egypt, and the Virgin fed Christ there. So the plot of the icon can be connected with this Cave. They say that in the 5th century, the ‘Milk-Giver’ icon from Athos was donated to Savvas the Sanctified, who created the Lavra near Jerusalem and placed the icon in it. However, before his death at the beginning of the 6th century, he bequeathed the icon to a future pilgrim named Sava. It turned out to be Bishop Sava of Serbia, who was traveling in the 13th (!) century and took away with him from that Lavra the ‘Milk-Giver’ together with the ‘Three-Handed’. On his way back from the Holy Land, he visited Athos, where he founded the Hilandar Monastery. Since then, the feast of the icon has been celebrated on the day of memory of St. Sava of Serbia on January 12–25, and the icon helps also the monks.”

“Have you been to Bethlehem?” Dimitra asked.

“Yes, but in the Cave of the Nativity, the Catholics and the Orthodox have different birthplaces of Jesus. How can you put two mangers of Christ in one cave?”

“People want to divide everything! Let’s get back to the kids’ icons!”

“The icon ‘The First Step of Christ’ is painted from the frescoes of an Athos Monastery. In the Jordan Valley in the monastery of St. Gerasimus, founded in the 5th century at the cave, where the Holy Family stopped during the flight to Egypt and Christ took his first step, this icon exists too, but it’s voluminous – the clothes of Christ and the Virgin are made of fabric. An icon with the name of the Saint, in whose honor the baby is named, as well as the icon of the Guardian Angel, are suitable for all ages.”

“Listen, Alice, we don’t have an icon of the Guardian Angel! Send me at least a photo of what that Guardian looks like!”

“Okay, Dimitra! For study, mitigation of the transitional age, as well as at the risk of losing the mind, there’s the icon ‘The Key of the Mind’, also called ‘Increasing/Adding the Mind’. The icon is one, painted differently. ‘The Key of the Mind’ shows the Virgin Mary standing on a key-shaped column, like the statue of the Virgin of Loreto in Italy, and holds both hands like the Oranta type. ‘Increasing/Adding the Mind’ is painted in orange-red-brown colors. The clothes of the Virgin form the shape of a bell, her hands and Christ are under her clothes. There are four angels with candles on both sides of the Virgin and six-winged fiery cherubs above and below Her. Two torch lamps are burning on the wall above. There are the stars and the sleeping city behind the Virgin in the arch way, as if She came into your house through the open window, and it immediately warmed up. The icon is celebrated on August 15/28.”

“How many holidays are there in August! And there are no sales!”

“They will be! Tell me, Dimitra, about St. Stylianos!”

“My brother was named after him. Every house with children has an icon of St. Stylianos of Paphlagonia. His feast day is November 26 / December 9. He was born in the 5th or 6th century in the city of Andrianoupoli. When he reached adulthood, he distributed property to the poor, withdrew to a cave, observed the starry sky, read the book of Nature, sang the psalms of David and wished to be like a child to whom the Kingdom of Heaven would be revealed. As a result, he received the gift of healing, children were brought to him. He also helped women who had no children to become mothers of many children. People trusted him with the upbringing of their children, and Stylianos organized a kindergarten! He was very kind and cheerful. He died at an old age with a smile on his face.”

Dimitra’s mother came up to us and anointed our foreheads with myrrh from the evening liturgy in the church of Saints Constantine and Elena. I took a step to the side and glanced up at the balcony of the Tower – Joice was waving at me.


***
Tower of Ouranoupoli


“What’s new?” Joice asked, pouring the tea.

“Nothing. I scanned checkered notebooks – children’s manuscripts – detective stories and those about intelligence officers and partisans. Mom used to read them to her employees at work. There are also sketches of a novel about the cyclical nature of the Universe, as if there were three planets, one of them was already dead, the second was on the verge of the Apocalypse, and on the third life was just emerging. The worthy from planet No. 2 had to be moved to planet No. 3, and there was a war for bright souls. Nothing interesting. No clue!”

“Have you scanned all the photos?”

“Some, but almost all persons are already in Heaven. I’ve seen photos of our travels with my son when he was a kid, then literary parties, that don’t touch me anymore. I’m drawn to Athos, here. Not to that of my Past. I’ve looked them through and forgotten at once.”

“Did no one from the photos evoke special feelings?”

“Nobody. In recent years, I’ve not communicated with anyone, except for icons. I had no desire. I don’t care now if the photos are thrown away on the 40th day. Even if… my books… are thrown away… It’s not a pity, or just a bit, since they are kept in the Library of the Universe, and on Earth, they’ll be found somewhere as well, if needed.”

“Look through the contents of the entire room to test yourself for connection to the Past. Maybe,” Joice didn’t finish her sentence, because there was a creak on the stairs, but she immediately reassured me, “Monks, don’t be frightened!”

“Oh! I’ve completely forgotten! I saw an alive monk yesterday! He told me about the Ghost Ship and Karoulia! He told me to pray and said that humility might be the only way to get to Heaven so that I wouldn’t turn into the Ghost Ship, whose captain stubbornly wanted to rewrite the Past.”

“What would you rewrite in the Past?”

“I wouldn’t have erased my memory.”

“Did you tell the monk about your situation?”

“What a fool I am! No! I still have to look for the handle and to ask someone alive for the funeral liturgy. Unreal, Joice! Neither friends on Earth, nor voice!”

“Nothing is unreal,” Joice smiled. “Tell me, where do you always disappear while I read you my novel about St. Peter?”

“Your Peter transfers me to the Courtroom. Everything is foggy there, and for some reason the Moonlight Sonata is heard. People keep coming up to the Scales and talking about me, and frames from the Past are flashing on the screen. I don’t remember all of them. Yesterday I saw a Boy, he said to me, ‘Sorry.’ A woman seems to have come too. Her face was splitting in two faces! I don’t understand who she is, the word ‘Love’ is coming. Perhaps she is alive. The boy is definitely alive.”

“You see, Alice, not everyone is in Heaven!”

“It’s strange, now I’ve suddenly heard myself in the Past, ‘The hymns of heavenly communion are heard in the sounds of earthly alien symphonies… There is no end in the story … the souls meet on New Athos…’ These are words of my poem. At first, I wrote ‘on the Old Athos’, then replaced it with ‘New’, meaning ‘in Heaven’. Later I found out that New Athos existed on Earth too, but I didn’t change the poem anymore,” I closed my eyes and asked, “Joice, I’m very tired. Read to me about St. Peter, please!”


***
Courtroom in the Universe


I took a step into the Mist, where the Moonlight Sonata was sounding. There were a lot of people at the Scales, they came up in turn, called some numbers and put their “Thank you” on the right bowl, and frames flashed on the screen very fast. I saw children and remembered schools, teachers and pupils, poets and writers, since we organized performances, I donated my books, however, I was not alone there.

The Moonlight Sonata was getting louder. My son approached the Scales, and the frames on the screen showed us traveling, celebrating the New Year in Lapland, where my son was sitting on Santa Claus’ lap, then us watching famous TV-programs of humor and those of knowledge, and films about ghosts, the loops of Time, the shifts of Space. I told him about Another Reality and brought icons from Athos – they flashed one by one on the screen, but I clearly saw only the “Prayer for the Chalice”, which was the last. My son put down his “Thank you”, and the Scales fond the balance. He came up to me in the Mist, showing the ring of St. Andrew and clearly said, “Children!” I didn’t understand what he meant. What children? Pupils? “Seeking for the Perished!” his thought echoed in me distinctly but… The Mist took him away, and everything around became so foggy that I could no longer see anything there, where the Moonlight Sonata was endless, and my life was flipping on the screen of Eternity.