Insults

Are you looking to add a few creative insults to your arsenal, probably to cuss under your breath at your annoying colleague, boss, or neighbor? Or are you just looking to have a hearty laugh? Worry not; we have compiled the 14 most creative insults you will ever hear. 

You dressed worse than my salad

You Have the Fashion of a Colorblind Pimp
In other words, you have a terrible fashion taste. “My wife says that I have the fashion of a teenage Goth girl because sometimes I wear Doc Martens,” adds a user.


Wisdom Has Been Chasing You, but You’ve Always Been Faster
This is another insult for a stupid person. Another user adds, “If stupidity had wings, you would be flying around like a pigeon.”

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I Can Only Explain It to You. I Can’t Understand It for You
In short, you have trouble understanding simple things, and there is nothing more another person can do.

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What He Lacked in Brains, He Made up for With Stupidity
Similar creative insults to this are “Thank God you’ve been spared the ravages of intelligence,” “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t blow your head off,” and “He was not cursed with self-awareness.”

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Don’t Overestimate Your Value
A boss once told an employee this. “Goddamn, that’s brutal. If I ever heard that from a boss, I’d probably walk out due to humiliation,” writes a poster.

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I Did Not Attend His Funeral, but I Sent a Nice Letter Saying I Approved of It
This is one of Mark Twain’s lines, whose real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens. Other dark humor insults that feature death include, “I never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure,” and “You should never say bad things about the dead, only say good… Joan Crawford is dead. Good.“

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Comments Like That Are Probably Why You’re Missing Teeth
“A former coworker was getting some flack from one of our customers. After the customer said something particularly bad, my coworker looked him square in the face and said, ‘Comments like that is probably why you’re missing teeth,'” says a user. We know the insult feels mean, but still counts as creative.

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t Could Be That the Purpose of Your Life Is to Serve as a Warning to Others
“Jolly good and so evil,” responds a commentator after reading this creative insult. Another user mentions that this is a dark-humor quote from a Demotivational Poster.