Ashamed - Khvatit!

Once I was proud, I was proud to be Russian,
Proud of my homeland, its illustrious past, my whole nation.
But now, don’t ask where I’m from, don’t ask me my name.
Don’t make me more ashamed, than I already am.

Don’t make me have to lie and say I’m from Ukraine
And if I tell you why, don’t hate me or complain.
Yes – it’s true, I’m Russian, I’m ashamed to say.
Not fighting or supporting this depraved war in Ukraine.

Now I hate my own nation, what my homeland has become,
And this war without end, that still cannot be named.
How do I explain, the shame I feel inside?
I don’t fight and don’t count at all, in silence I just pray…

More ashamed I am now of the fight, I don’t fight,
Against this endless war without name, that goes on day and night.
Should I stay silent then? Or speak up and shout out loud?
Am I complicit? Is one voice enough in a silent crowd?

Now I’m so ashamed. Alas, ashamed to be Russian.
Abhorring this war, that’s not fought “in my name”.
But does this revulsion erase the guilt that remains?
No! I am guilty as a Russian, for my silence all the same.

But here is the question: Do we all share the true blame
For not protesting more openly against Putin’s war in Ukraine?
As the drones and missiles fall, our silence condones this empire’s war
Still only Putin can name, without being put in prison (or worse…)

But shame does not erase the damage and pain. I am guilty all the same.
Alas a single song or my lone voice are far too little and too lame.
Voices of the nation unite! End this savage slaughter tonight!
Let’s restore peace and stop this Vlady Putin endless bloody war shite!

It’s time to fight and work together to achieve real change.
The people always decide what’s right and who’s really to blame.
Time’s up! We must not stay silent or we all share the guilt of it.
Enough is enough. Alas, I’m ashamed. Full stop! End of! Khvatit!

Мне стыдно © Asieh V. Rail (1954-2023) and Samuel V. Novnik
Translation into English by Samuel V. Novnik