never

I've been to your town
and I've seen its naive prosperity
blessed well-being on tightly trimmed lawns
none of it was ever true
none of it was ever relatable

I've been to your town
the one inside you
reading codes and metaphors
impenetrable labyrinths
I'll never catch up with
I'm too far gone
too far and between

too far apart
is my trembling breath
is my stitched-up heart
oh it's too fucking familiar

the unavoidable moths
invading my town
there is no light to attract them
they're coming by pure intuition
that always fails

I've seen those brightly colored houses
you don't look you belong in
confused by the white noise
when your voice reached out

you're but a moth attracted by darkness
flying purely by intuition
that always fails

tidy parks with tidy children
I parked at the wrong spot of the town
the one inside you
a tiny cataclysm lurking behind a heart emoji
oh how I hate this pervasiveness
it was always fake
get away from my labyrinth
before it's too late for me
inside your town the gingerbread houses are burning
inside your heart a flurry

a silhouette in the snow
a moth entangled in too early
who's to blame
it was never your home
who's to laugh
you were always out of my reach

Sid Saturnicki, 14112021