A Trap for a Thought-Form. 16. Childish Heart

A TRAP for a THOUGHT-FORM

a novel in the series
"PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY"

Chapter 16. CHILDISH HEART


The Guardian took a cup of coffee and sat down next to me.

“Will you present today ‘The Childish Heart’ owner?”

“Yes, once he was the Page of Cups. A child in his soul, he is prickly as a hedgehog. In his childhood, he wanted to become a theater actor. Now he greatly regrets that he didn’t. He writes worthy poems about Harlequins, Pierrot and not only. All his life he has been crazy about Alexander Blok. He recites excellently on the stage… And what did you want to be in childhood?”

“I don’t want to talk with you about it!” the Guardian replied sharply.

“Are your parents alive?”

The Guardian jumped up as if scalded and gave me a hateful look. He was about to shout something, probably some curse at me, but the Cat suddenly appeared and climbed onto the Guardian’s shoulder like a tree.

“MEOW!!”

It was scary and funny at the same time! The Guardian immediately left, apparently, to deal with the Cat, and the King of Swords appeared in the hall. He sailed up to me and…

“Let me talk to you, Your Majesty!”

“About walking me home?”

“No. I mean, of course, I will walk you home. But you seem to want the Witch…”

“Could you express yourself more clearly?”

“I can escort you through the Blizzard. Don’t let go of my hand there, outside the Mansion, and you…”

“Have you been assigned by the Guardian to watch me?!”

“Think as you wish. I can’t share your path, but I love you. It’s for this reason, perhaps, I will be able to lead you to the Witch.”

The King of Swords bowed and disappeared into the crowd.

I introduced the Page of Cups and his “Childish Heart” to the audience. The Guardian came back and watched the party from behind the curtain. And everything went on as usual: my question to the author and his answer, my question to the guests and the guests’ answers, the guests’ questions to the author and the author’s answers, and so on in a circle, in a circle, in a circle…

“The circles of Hell,” flashed through my mind. “Or is it a carousel?”

“One doesn’t exclude the other, Alice!” Roman appeared in the hall.

“Hi, Roman… Is it still the same Blizzard outside?”

“And what do you think?”

Yes, there was the Blizzard there. And it would never end, because it was the Blizzard spinning the Devil’s carousel, we all were riding in circles, each on his own horse, until the head would get dizzy, and the Consciousness would be switched off forever…

***

Roman swirled his cup of coffee on the table.

“I couldn’t meet the Witch yesterday, Roman. Something strange happened. Or we did meet after all, but someone completely erased the record in my memory. The King of Swords offered to escort me to the Witch tonight. Do you think he can be trusted?”

“Do you have options?”

“I don’t know, but I got acquainted with the King of Swords long ago, even before the parties in the Mansion…”

“How did you two get acquainted?”

I stepped into my memory, but there was no record of how and where I had met the King of Swords. Digging there a little more, I was able to catch only the autumn evening when the King of Swords had taken me on an excursion to that Mansion, through the Right Door.

“Erased…”

“Get yourself a notebook and write down all the Matrix glitches you find.”

“Okay, Master, what are we going to do with them later? To salt?” I asked.

“To create others that haven’t existed yet!” Roman laughed.

I was about to think of… but stopped, because Roman could read my thoughts. And I wanted so much to create my own little world with him and me, and a fireplace, and coffee, and a blanket, and the Moon Cat, and in that world I would read us bedtime tales, and no Blizzard outside the window would be able to keep us apart…

“I assume that today your task is related to childhood?”

“Look, there is an old mustached devil in the front row!”

“What’s the catch: he is not a devil or he is young?”

“George has already a mountain of grandchildren. And he came up to me last night and so sadly, as the last request before death, asked to address him simply ‘Jonny’. That’s what his mother called him when he was a kid. Do you understand what I mean?”

Roman nodded and gently stroked my back in the wings area.

The Guardian rang the bell.

Task No. 16. CHILDISH

…The task is to feel like a child, no matter how old you are. The easiest way is to do something peculiar to children, but completely uncharacteristic of adults. Go to the winter forest and lie in the snow, build a whole snow castle instead of a snowman. In summer, you can build sand castles, or make a kite, write on it your wish and release it into the sky. In autumn and spring, splash through the puddles, send paper boats to sail along the streams and so on…

Recollect something similar that you personally associate with childhood, and do childish actions, harmless to others, which, even for a short time, will return you to an already forgotten state, evoke such amazing emotions as childlike lightness and carelessness, the ability to enjoy the trifles sincerely and to smile to the world openly…

***

The King of Swords led me out of the Mansion into the Blizzard.

That night I didn’t let go of his hand, and we reached the arch.

“Thank you,” the Witch smiled to the King of Swords and held out a stack of photos.

I couldn’t wait to take a look at them! Grabbing the pack with one hand, with the other…

“Oh no!!! Damn! I shouldn’t have let go of the King of Swords’ hand!!!”

And I immediately found myself…

***

...in my flat…

“What a pity!!! I didn’t find out what was wrong with those pictures. Most likely, they fell out of my hands. Did the Witch manage to pick them up, or was the Blizzard ahead of her?.. I need to lie in the snow thoroughly!” I thought, remembering the last task to Roman. “In the forest, nearby the church I go to on weekends… Yes, I remember neither the road to that church, nor the church itself, nor the forest. Someone erased them in my memory. But if I wrote about them to Pasha, then they exist for sure, the church, and the forest, and the road to them! And… what about… weekend?”

I caught myself thinking that I no longer remembered the last time it had happened.

“Damn the weekend, however, I can go to the church any day of the week, and any time of the day is good for lying in the snow!”