choice

The rooks disembowel the branches harvesting the last chestnuts   
Tomatoes disappeared from the shelves, but tangerines appears instead   
My therapist said that I should always know what for do I need something   
But when someone asks for help I do not ask myself this   
Knitting in silence the thread of my care, you can never see me   
   
No one ever called me picky, 'cause I never saw an opportunity to pick   
The amount of love and craving in me scares everyone away 
Life put a bullet in my head with an engraving "unlovable"   
Blackhole in my heart with endless darkness that is spilling inside me   
No one can tame it when it breaks loose, nothing can stop 
 
If destiny thinks that the time has come, then, as my drama teacher says,   
In the fate versus person conflict, the person is destined to lose   
Fight until the end on the edge of its strength, but lose every time   
Because there are many choices to win and we take neither of them   
There is always a choice, but not the one we ache for. A bad choice.
 
The world is the sky for the bird; the pity is scissors for wings. 
So I pity no one and I does not allow myself to feel sorrows 
Because when there is no hope — one starts to act with true bravery 
When there is no hope there is nothing to wait for and nothing to lose 
In the pile of dead leaves, we discover the truth and it is painfully bright.
 
All my life I had listened to what other people say, I'm really good at it 
Because if I won't — what will my value consist of? What for will I be?
All my life I was eager for love to fill me up, but I was full of brightness already
So when you think about how easy I fly through the world, sliding in the air 
Bear in mind how painful is light and how heavy are rotten sorrows
 
And how every choice that I make is a choice to lose.