Insecure

I’ve noticed you muted my stories,
Seems like you don’t wanna see me...
Okay then, I’ll take it, no worries,
I’m sorry for “being” not “seeming”...

Anyways, you were so unavailable,
You were busy thinking of her.
If all the cards were put on the table,
Now I wouldn’t feel this much insecure!
 
Insecure about the things that I wear;
About the way I gesture with hands;
About the way I look, talk and swear;
About the messages once I’ve sent.

Insecure about my own body;
Even about the color of my hair!
You made me feel like I’m somebody,
Then as if I’m the minimum bare...

Insecure about the way that I laugh;
About the thoughts inside of my head;
As if loving me is so fucking hard,
As if I meet none of your demands!

I’m over you and not looking back,
But now I have so much more left.
Silence was loud and now I’m stuck,
Puzzled by words you haven’t said.

If you told me then what made it wrong,
I wouldn’t now question my worth.
I’m weak in what once I was strong,
Heartbreak is hard, but selfbreak is worse...

April, 25