Confession

Might think I'm fucking crazy,
'Cause I'm only circling in my little room,
I said "fuck the exams", but truly say I'm scared.
I don't have any plan in life, I'm only baby,
But my mind is ready to war, and it's gonna boom,
I only want to break free and move to New York, but that's feard...

My sister says that she believes in me,
But I know that I'll make her blue,
Because I'm stupid little lost bee,
So I answer only "I believe in me too".
I know that this is hilarious to see,
But I really don't have a clue.
It seems like I had a glue,
But I lost someone who I even don't knew,
I wish I could say to her some things, just a few,
'Cause even my angel-protector left me, that's a blue.

My dearest friend once said "Your poetry is really awesome",
She didn't know that I'm only clown, but she's flawsome,
I really appreciate her words, but I can't make myself believe in it,
Because I think that I bring someone down and for that I need a hit.

Today I thought I was well done,
But when the sun goes down,
I think again about being gone,
Like I want to take a gun,
And take me brains out.

Outside I'm so cold skin,
But inside of me is an emotional bin,
You don't want to feel and see the things i've seen,
You don't want to know through what I've been,
It wasn't really a high quality scene,
'Cause now I want to feel
Anything else exept the fear.

I find my solace in my lyrics,
So that's how I talk to my friends,
But they don't give a fuck about me,
And it makes me want to concentrate on the cheap beer,
Maybe that's how people will hear,
Because I'm tired of feeling fucking crazy,
I was born in the wrong time and place, I want ready,
So I'm just waiting to go to Father on the up,
Just to tell him about all the things that bring me on the top
To him.

And I can't stop writing this,
'Cause I want to cry, but I keep resist,
Feel like I'm in the cell, I'm beast,
Everybody watchs me, that's a shit.