No. 28 Ruminated Daydream

               
I.
My eyes are blocked within tears so much
I can barely see the sun


II.
When you’re in a place you don't belong to
You don’t exist


III.
I really hope that the salvation
from polluted memories is in hunger
I really hope the hunger
will clean polluted memories off


IV.
They have been torturing me
in cold blood for years.
Why shouldn’t I pay them back?


V.
My domains are vertical
From the shivering field
To the vivid sky


VI.
They trying to claim me theirs
with their food and massive locks.
But I get the secret now.
My hands are cold and my stomach is burning.
I’m drifting in my bed, dizzy with coming changes.
I'm gonna flee away soon


VII.
Days pass away so do memories
There is no connection with the corpse of past
And it's slowly decomposing
Separated from very own reality
Just a photo of a movie scene

And

I feel like
I’m about slipping into another dimension


VIII.
I don't want to be dead
I want to be unconscious

IX.
With every restricted meal
You are closer to the sweetness of aim
I desperately hope
These pills gonna work
I need your approval
Badly
Mother’s hug is dry
And formal
Afterward

It’s aches 


X.
I’ve decided.
I will starve myself to death.
There is nothing holy in this world.
I wanna feel my living
till the little piece, the darkest wound.
Like the first time. Like the fool.
The joker.
And I’m starting

now.