44. An Addict s Nightmare
And it revealed all of your frights.
You are afraid that soon you’ll die,
You want to run, you want to hide.
You leave your bed and run away.
But where to run? Where is your way?
All you can do is tear along.
Your legs start aching, it’s no fun.
At last you see a lofty rock,
There is a cave in it, so dark.
You want to enter it — in vain!
And suddenly you feel the pain
That starts to burn in every limb.
You feel so dizzy, eyes grow dim.
But you make up your mind, and climb
Up this high rock, and see a sign.
Just on the stone somebody writ,
“All that you want, there you can get.”
But what d’you want? You’re not aware.
But you’ve no choice, you take a dare.
Ascent is hard, but in the end
You reach the peak, and now you can
Get what you want like it was said,
But nothing’s there, it is too bad.
There’s only a nest of that big crow
That you saw not so long ago,
And now that bird flies up to you.
You try to beat it off, you do.
It throws you down, hold out you can’t.
No time to scream, close is the land.
And then you wake up, ‘twas a dream,
But to feel safe you still don’t seem.
Your body wants another dose,
You’re sure to get it, I suppose.
You’ve signed your death warrant, it’s true.
Believe, there’s nothing you can do.
27–28.09.96, 22, 25.07.97
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