41. Life

(Inspired by H-Blockx’s Revolution)

I’m tired of this bullshit
But I have not died yet.
Bullshit is all my life:
It always makes me cry,
It always makes me scream,
It’s never what it seems.
Life’s always fucking hard,
And no one knows his lot.
So y’all, don’t warm into
My confidence, hey you!
Don’t fucking think I’m yours,
Don’t try to use your force,
And don’t you try to show
That nothing you don’t know,
That you don’t see that I
Am fucked up, gonna die.
All that you always do
Is make me obey you.
I’m like a little toy
That you want to destroy.
But I won’t blow my brains,
Though can’t get rid of pains.
Yeah, I am shit of luck,
And into dirt I’m locked.
Yes, I am gonna die,
But you won’t hear my cries.
You’ll never care a fart —
My life thread’s almost cut.
I’ll die, nothing to do,
It’s my fucking point of view.
I don’t feel very well,
I hear the tolling bell.
It tolls my Death is close,
And all my hopes are lost.

14.09, 6.10.96, 1.01, 2.07.97